Salvation And Desertion

Episode Report Card
Miss Alli: B+ | Grade It Now!

Jeff asks Austin whether booting Dan was clear -- whether Dan "needed to go" or was "holding [them] back." By saying "I would never use those words," Austin accidentally answers "yes." He insists that it's not that; it's just that somebody has to go. (By the way, if you want to say "no," you use the word "no," not the words, "I would never use those words.") Jeff asks Dan what the tribe will lose if he goes home. Dan says that he helps out around camp with the fire and so forth. He calls himself "Dan Fuego," and Austin pats him on the leg like he's a dope. This is getting embarrassing. Dan also insists that usually, he's great at puzzles. Great, I tell you! Try him out on Sudoku! Crostics! Other assorted head-scratchers! Jeff, unimpressed with this entire display, asks Dan if he's just "taking the sword on this one." Dan feels obligated to show some sass, so he tells Jeff he's not, and repeats that he wishes for the 2 v. 2 situation.

Jeff says that the vote seems to be "a foregone conclusion," but that they're voting anyway. Nick votes. Dan votes. Austin votes. Terry votes. The music, rather than the usual suspense music, is like something out of a Lifetime movie about a woman who learns to walk again after a terrible accident. It's swelling, it's leaning, it's pulling on your heartstrings. It is actually very nearly crawling into your lap. Jeff takes the votes off for tallying.

Aaaaand...Dan! Austin! Dan! Dan! Done! Incidentally, the first vote actually says, "Dr. Dan Fuego, PhD, M.D." Which is cute, actually. Anyway, Dan is done, as we knew he would be, and the music grandly announces that the brotherhood of men is something to be admired, and that astronauts are pretty, and this is music that has never been heard on this show before during a snuffing, that's for sure. There is a real effort to make this booting more than it is, because it is not different from, say, the booting of Ethan in All-Stars. You boot a guy because it helps you, period. That's why they're booting Dan -- because it helps them. It's completely self-interested, and the need to put sparkle polish on that fact really baffles me. Jeff sends them back to camp. I need an aspirin.

In his interview, Dan says that he was surprised by Terry's decision, but that he understands, it's all good, he loves his family...enough, really.

Next week: clip show! On Wednesday! No real new show for three weeks! But then there will be a medical emergency! I hope no one is hurt! Mostly!

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