Then there's Jacquie. Bob, who still has some red paint in his beard from yesterday's challenge, says Jacquie was a "nice kid" who should have lasted longer in this game, Matty. Jacquie claims that Survivor was the best experience of her life, which is tragic since she was only there for twelve days. She says she wants to live that freely for the rest of her life. I bet she lives in an apartment with a shower, though! Next up is GC. Who cares about him? I don't. Quitter. GC claims that being volunteered to be the leader by his tribe was important to him, but not really since he quit the next day and then he quit the game. Next! Ah, it's Kelly. Matty basically says that Kelly did much better in this game than she should have. Kelly says the game taught her so much. Except the meaning of the word "asset."
Oh, Ace. Sugar gets all sad and says she feels terrible about taking Ace out of the game because she was lied to. She sounds like she's crying, but the camera zooms in and there are no tears. "He was a shyster but he was cool," Matty says. Ace the prat says that it was hard to be so well-traveled and stuck with people who haven't gone anywhere. Fuck you, Ace. I saw the "places I've been" on your Myspace, and you really haven't been to all that many places. And when you travel on Daddy's dime and stay in the finest hotels or whatever you said in the beginning of this season, it's really not a mind-blowing cultural experience. And finally, at least the tired, poor, huddled masses of unraveled people you competed against can go to a bar without getting arrested. And then there's Dan. Bob says he had a heart of gold, and Matty says Dan wanted to find himself out here and he thinks he did. Dan says he's learned how to calm himself down, or something. Whatever. He's cuter than I remembered.
Marcus is next. Sugar says she thought he'd be in the top three. So did he! Ha ha! Marcus says this game gave him an appreciation for the way the world works, and that you can make good choices and bad ones. Like throwing the immunity idol into the ocean and then getting voted out next. Marcus claims that was a good decision, though, since he didn't want to be sneaky or double-cross people in this game. No, they were supposed to accept their fate to be voted out and not try to stop it or save themselves. You know what I want to know? I want to know if Marcus would have kept his promise to take Susie to the Final Three if she hadn't flipped on him. I bet he wouldn't have! Everyone loves Charlie, and I did too, until I saw him join his crappy friends at the Loser Lodge in ignoring Crystal. Grow a pair, Charles.