Survivor

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Sara M: B | Grade It Now!
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If Your Father Dies, Don't Tell Corinne

They take their spots behind fire-making stations and get started. Of course, Bob is ready for this, and scrapes together a little pile of magnesium before putting the kindling on. Probst points this out, like, way to give away Bob's strategy, Probst. Matty creates sparks, but no flames. Bob, meanwhile, gets a big fire started and starts putting the thicker pieces of wood on it. He gets a little too excited and puts too many on, and the fire goes out. Bob blows on it to try to revive it, while Matty keeps making spark after spark but still no flame. And then ... Bob gets his fire back. And this time, it's not going out. While the ridiculous epic movie music plays, Bob's fire grows stronger and bigger, up to the rope. There's a gross shot of Corinne resting her gross head on Charlie's shoulder and smiling like the Joker. Bob burns through the rope and wins it. Matty never even got a fire going. Which is good for Sugar, because he probably would have used his to burn her face off. Matty wanted to avoid going up against Bob in the end so badly that he didn't consider voting Sugar out tonight, and stupidly thought she felt the same way. He should have realized when Sugar kept him in the game and took out Crystal that she isn't playing to win.

While Bob breathes fifteen thousand sighs of relief, Matty hugs everyone and takes his torch to Probst. The epic music is so loud that it almost drowns Probst out when he extinguishes Matty's flame. Matty leaves, and that makes Susie, Bob, and Sugar our Final Three, and possibly the most unlikely Final Three this show has ever had. Probst says the power now shifts to the jury, and we cut to the jury, some of whom are looking very smug (Marcus, Corinne) for people who have to be jealous as hell as the three people seated before them.

For his farewell speech, Matty says he learned a lot about himself and he's grateful for the experience. Not grateful enough to have used it to learn how to make fire, but still.

It's a new day in Gabon, and we need lots of filler animal shots to pad this baby out to two hours. After, like, ten hours of that, we go to Camp Nobag, where the Final Three are marking off the last day in a long piece of wood full of notches. They count all thirty-nine days together. I know the segments with the Final Two or Three are anti-climatic, but this is seriously boring. Susie tells us that she can't believe she's still here, and it shows that you just have to keep trying. That sounds like something that would make for a crappy Final Tribal Council opening statement. She continues that she wanted her son to see that if you keep trying, you'll make it. "And I did, I'm here on Day 39! Is that crazy? It's insane," she says. Why couldn't we have seen more of Susie this season? Her hair always looks good and she's endearing. And she's in the top three! Have we ever had such an invisible finalist on this show before?

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Survivor

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