Survivor
Secrets And Lies And An Idol Surprise

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Miss Alli: B | Grade It Now!
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No More Hungry Minnows

Later, the tribe returns to Camp No-Fun, an absolutely hammered Judd in the lead. This is problematic, of course, because Judd is so big that it's not like they can carry or assist him around camp if he's determined to lumber around and fall over. This is one reason why, when your group of friends is choosing its designated lightweight, it's better to pick one who's a real lightweight, because trying to hoist a guy out of a tanker of beer when he weighs twice as much as you do isn't a particularly enjoyable enterprise. As Bobby Jon smokes a cigar around the fire, Judd slaps him and says, "I love you like a fat kid loves cake." I'm sure Bobby Jon appreciates that. Judd then drunks on over to Jamie and gives him a big hug. I guess we're back to kissing foreheads with these two. Gary interviews: "Judd was pretty well drunk." Oh, now I get it. He's drunk!

Gary goes on to explain that after they stumbled around a bit, Bobby Jon (also clearly drunk, though less so) got it into his head to move a "stump" that turned out to be a giant tree. As Judd tries to help Bobby Jon lift it, he manages to conk himself in the head with the tree and knock himself on his ass. Gary, years of fellow-athlete-wrangling behind him, tries to grab the back of Judd's shirt and get him to sit down, but Judd falls down anyway. Everybody tells Judd that they can probably get the tree in the morning and don't absolutely need to take care of it right this second. "We're fine," Gary reassures him. Judd almost manages to fall over the tree one more time before the scene ends. Man, it's very dangerous to put yourself in that position, drinking until people will mock you. You wind up spending something like five months making the following point in your own defense: "We were not making out! I was merely babbling incoherently and I happened to be speaking very quietly!" Not that I know anyone who has had to do specifically that, although if I did, it would be completely true.

The next morning, Gary brings some wood around camp. Not a giant stump-tree, but still good. Danni and Steph are talking, and Danni mentions just how much she didn't enjoy the snoring and throwing up on Judd's part. Confronted about whether he threw up in the shelter, Judd insists that he didn't -- he went off into the woods and threw up there. Danni and Gary immediately inform him that he certainly did not -- he threw up right next to where they were sleeping. And then we actually get a shot of it, which I have to think I could have lived without. Although it is the season of on-screen vomiting, I suppose, so why stop now? "It's all a blur to me, man," Judd finally says. That's a great scene. "You threw up in the shelter." "I DID NOT!" "You did, too." "Oh."

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Survivor

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