Phillip strolls up wearing his swimsuit and holding his pink panties aloft. He has a speech to make: "I want to say that I was never proud to wear plum-colored underwear," he begins. Wait, WHAT? Then how the hell did he wind up stuck wearing them?! Did the producers make him wear them? Were they the last pair of underwear he had and it was laundry day so he wore them while waiting for his other, better undergarments to be cleaned only for the producers to grab him and shove him onto a helicopter that was on its way to the show? I'M SO CONFUSED!! Anyway, Rob is very happy to see the end of them. But Phillip isn't going to throw them into the fire yet, as his speech is not over. "I knew that my manhood was not reflected in the briefs that I wear but rather the character that I bring to the game," he says. Um, judging by how many times they had to blur his crotch area when he wore those panties, I'd say his manhood was definitely reflected in them. With that, Phillip finally tosses the briefs into the firepit. Except that there is no fire currently going in it. Phillip's speech was so long and boring that the fire put itself out. So he basically just tossed them in a pile of ash. And it's still not over! "My great-great-grandfather Jessum Herring would probably say 'like all good things, some things must come to an end.'" Way to get the quote wrong, Jessum. You'd think he had plenty of time wandering around in the afterlife to get it right. Phillip concludes that Jessum would be "pleased to see those [undergarments] come to an end." Really? Then why did he help Phillip find them where Julie hid them in the first place? And between Jesus and Jessum this season, I'm starting to wonder why people wandering around the afterlife don't have better things to do with their time. Or at least better shows to watch. Fittingly enough, Phillip's smoldering underwear takes us out of the Murlonio camp for the last time and into the Final Tribal Council.
Episode Report CardSara M: D | 995 USERS: B-
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