Survivor
Survivor

Episode Report Card
Miss Alli: B+ | 1114 USERS: C+
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Jenna Jumps

Back at the project site, Shii Ann offers the list they've built of creative add-ons. It includes a hammock, a rope ladder, a dumbwaiter with a pulley, the aforementioned rock garden, and a coconut phone. ["Oooh, someone watched the 'Das Bus' episode of The Simpsons right before she went to Panama. All that's missing from her list of treehouse requirements are 'delicious wine' and 'monkey butlers.' They'll live like kings! Damn hell ass kings!" -- Wing Chun] The guys don't really listen, going back to their insistence that it's about "the structural stuff." Aside from the coconut phone, I don't think Shii Ann's ideas were all that stupid. They're all things that, if you accomplished them, would indeed have the capacity to set your shelter apart and give it a little pizzazz. Shii Ann expresses frustration in an interview that Colby and Lex ignored her comments like she wasn't even there. Meanwhile, Lex comments that they have to build the shelter strong, because they have to accommodate a "250-pound shark-catching gay fisherman." Again, it would be nice if Colby or Lex could manage to discuss Hatch once without saying "gay." I mean...I get that he says it himself, but still. Not every time, y'all. People will start to wonder what your deal is, if you know what I mean, and I think that you do.

Jenna lies down. In an interview, she explains that there's a lot going on with her. Other people have family they can reasonably expect will be there when they get home. Jenna? Not so much. She describes as "a constant issue" her wondering if it was a good idea for her to leave again. As they putter with the shelter, we hear Jenna explain that her mom has had cancer for a long time, and hasn't gotten better, and that Jenna fears that her mom could die while she's gone. Mogo Mogo admires their shelter.

Clouds fly rapidly across the landscape. The moon emerges. Still, Saboga is pounding nails over at the World's Most Awesome Sunken Log Cabin With Built-In Inadvertent Bathtub. Jerri comments that sawing and hammering in the absolute darkness of only the night-vision cam is "getting dangerous." Ethan -- keeping rather busy his own self with all the ongoing construction -- says that Rupert's log cabin idea was "a little ambitious." You heard it here first, folks -- "ambitious" is the new "mind-bendingly dumb." He goes on to explain in what is apparently an interview the next day that they spent all night trying to pound nails in the dark. Furthermore, Rupert is still in the middle of digging the huge hole that really tops off the log cabin idea so perfectly. Ethan explains that when Rupert had the hole half-dug, he discovered a huge tree trunk running right across the middle. "My God," Jerri interviews. "I could not believe the stupidity." She goes on to explain how it "infuriates" her that they spent all day building this thing and it turned out so miserably. Rupert's reaction to having fucked up the entire thing -- and been arrogant about it besides -- is, unsurprisingly, to come up with additional self-righteousness even more impressive than the previously existing self-righteousness. "I have a hard time just sitting back and listening to a bunch of people say, 'It's too much work, it can't get done,' everybody's -- they can't do it." Yeah. Welcome to Mosquito Coast 2: Keep Hammering, Dammit!. Back in the heart of darkness, Ethan asks what they're going to do about beds, and Rupert -- continuing to act like Ethan is a totally stupid dickweed for even asking -- insists that of course they'll make beds inside. Of course they will. Jerri interviews that the team has "crumbled," and has taken exactly one day to do so. "This is Rupert gone mad," she says plainly. We fade out on footage of him continuing the obsessive dig.

Survivor

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