Shark Attack

Episode Report Card
Miss Alli: B | Grade It Now!
Jenna Jumps

Now, it's time to visit Saboga. Heh. Rupert tries to sell Raffa on the "gutter system," which appears to be a reference to some hollowed-out bamboo that he has attached to one corner of the hovel and angled downward on the apparent theory that this will keep water off the shelter. Or something. He takes Raffa down into the shelter and shows him the table, which is nothing but the locked rice crate sitting on the floor. Rupert interviews, with great despondence, that Raffa walked around revealing that everything was totally loose all around the "log cabin." He also acknowledges that he could tell Raffa was very disapproving of the idea of having built the shelter down into the sand. While showing the place off, Rupert does his best to pass off the intruding tree trunk that cuts across the middle of the shelter as a "footrest," explaining that he couldn't move it, so it stayed. Outside the shelter, Raffa notes that the palm fronds of the roof are barely attached at all, let alone securely. Rupert tries desperately to double-talk, but it's far too late for that. As Raffa leaves, Jeff explains that if they get a gift dropped from the sky and a key clue in their treemail, that will mean they won. If get only a key clue, that will mean they came in second. If they hear nothing, then they stayed up all night under the leadership of a damn crazy person for nothing. Call me a pessimist, but I'm going with that last one.

Before Raffa is even away from the Saboga shelter, while he's still just out of earshot but chatting with Jeff on their beach, he talks about how incredibly bad their work is. "No, no, no," he says with an amused head-shake. Inside the shelter, Saboga notices that they can see Raffa shaking his head and not looking really happy. Raffa, meanwhile, tells Jeff that Saboga's situation is actually dangerous, because being underground in the sand makes you extremely vulnerable to having water enter in a variety of ways, which seems...I mean, it seems so obvious that you really do have to wonder what Rupert thought was going to happen to the water that would inevitably get in when it rains, even if you assume it would never come in through the water table or the actual ocean or anything like that.

Out in the boat, Jeff gives the instruction to the airplane via walkie-talkie of where they're supposed to drop the prize, but of course, the team name is oh-so-artfully obscured to keep up the suspense. We see the plane circling, and the teams see it, too. At Saboga, a delusional Rupert says, "Oh, God, drop something." Yeah. That will not happen. Indeed, the plane flies by. "It's all right; tomorrow's what really matters," says Jerri, being much more gracious than Rupert deserves. He gives a little "Sorry guys, totally my fault." It's better than nothing, but it's really not the crap-ass shelter construction that he ought to be apologizing for. It's the way he treated Jerri. Being wrong about the shelter is just being wrong, but being an asshole to anyone who questions you is a different -- and more serious -- problem. So...yeah, Rupert. You're the ass, and that's the hole in the ground. Got it?

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