Commercials. This week in disturbing Tampax commercials: other tampons are only a means to an end, and that end is Tampax. Tampax is the way.
When we return, it's Day 24 at Balboa. A tall, very thin bird (Gwynethicus Paltronia, I believe) is observing the beach, thinking to itself, "I wish they'd stop taking my picture; I'm not getting paid." Several of its friends watch from a nearby tree, preparing for this morning's round of yoga or calisthenics or whatever it is that keeps island birds so darn ripped. Rupert is smacking at a log with a little hatchet. Tijuana and Darrah, on the other hand, are still sleeping. Welcome, ladies and gentlemen, to the Morgan Is Lazy segment of our show. See, Burton and Jon are dragging tree branches across the sand! Christa is performing the life-giving function of beating a cloth against something! You know, it's true -- dust abatement is the one thing you can't be without on a deserted island. As Tijuana and Darrah, now awake, have a chat inside the shelter, we see Rupert and Christa on a highly self-congratulatory walk, during which Rupert snots that maybe today, he'll throw uncleaned fish at Tijuana and Darrah and demand that they clean them. Considering that they lived for weeks without having fish at all, I doubt they'll find that incredibly compelling, but whatever, Captain Self-Important. Christa lectures in an interview that the Morgan tribe is "just in general very lazy." She's incredibly offended by their tendency to sit in the shelter and talk when she has perceived that there's work to be done. Christa would never do anything that qualified as leisure time, of course, like...oh, I don't know, yapping and relaxing and having her hair conditioned. Seriously, she is such a snot. I mean, she's right, I don't doubt, that Tijuana and Darrah aren't doing a lot of work, but Ryan-O has never shown himself to be particularly lazy, and considering that they haven't lived there very long, she might consider dialing back the self-righteousness just a little. For one thing, these people really were physically weak by the time they got there, and although it might have been their own fault, you'd think you might give them a couple of days to acclimate before you decided they were irredeemably bad human beings. "Talking," Christa says, "is not acceptable 24/7 around here." See? Even when she's right, she's a total jerk about it, because you can tell from that statement that she sees this camp as the property of her, Rupert, and Sandra, where they will make the rules and other people will follow them, and where she will declare what is "acceptable." And that makes you a jerk, even if you're basically right.