Shocking! Simply Shocking!

Episode Report Card
Miss Alli: B- | 1 USERS: A+
Rumblings Of Mutiny

The stingray, however, is apparently not successful in actually using this fascinating defense mechanism to save itself, because the next time we see it, it's roasting on the grill. Lill, followed by an echoing Rupert, describes the meat as "shockingly good." Har. Har. "It's a high-voltage meal," Rupert says, apparently not really understanding puns, which is...I mean, puns just aren't that hard. No one ever refers to food as "high-voltage," even figuratively, so that "joke" makes absolutely no sense. And it's sad, because it's not like he didn't have options. Coulda said the meal made him feel powerful. Could have said the stingray was being provided free of charge. Could have said he'd always heard that stingrays were the joules of the sea. (Okay, no one would have gotten that.) Could have said he just wanted them to eat the fish and not give him any static. Could have said the fishing must have been a great outlet for Burton's pent-up energy (DOUBLE POINTS!) Instead, he went with "high-voltage meal." Sigh. Anyway, Tijuana wisely doesn't try to get cute, and just describes the food as "very good." She knows she's not a wit. In an interview, she praises the availability of food at Camp Drake. There is some more expository material about all the fishing that goes on at Drake, while pirate tootling keeps it up in the background. I can barely fend off the urge to dance a hornpipe. Arrrrrr!

In an interview, Rupert oh-so-generously states that he hopes all the former members of Morgan feel comfortable eating "as much as they want." He pities them for being emaciated. Of course, as he explains, this is all about how much he likes being the one who can hand out the food, so as with all things involving Rupert, it's ultimately about the enlargement of his own legend.

We sweep along the water, and then Jeff is welcoming the tribe to another challenge. He explains that what we are about to see is an individual reward challenge, this time specializing in the use of slingshots. What people will do for this challenge is essentially take shots with marbles at three ceramic plates in sequence. There's a whole thing with fire and a crow's nest and stuff, but it's really stupid and piratey. I'm boycotting all things piratey, I think, and just pretending they don't exist. They can have a theme, but they can't make me acknowledge it. Anyway, you have to break one plate to go on to the next one. If you break one out of sequence, you're out. This will be done in two stages -- first, there will be three heats of three people, in which the first person to finish will advance to the final, and then a final round of the heat winners will determine the ultimate rewardee. And what are they playing for? A big, full breakfast the next morning. Mmm, breakfast. If they're taking orders, I'll have the Moons Over My Hammy. All the best breakfasts are embarrassing to order.

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