Survivor

Episode Report Card
Sara M: B | 1586 USERS: B
YOU GRADE IT
One Decade Older, If Not Wiser

We go back to the Heroes Camp to see the other major camera-whore on a show full of camera-whores: Rupert. He wades out in the ocean to try to do some fishing, but complains that because his "toe is broke in at least two places," he hasn't been able to catch anything. So he's just going to work around camp because that's all his "darn toe" is capable of. He hopes that starting a fire for his tribe will be enough to keep him around. But how can he possibly start a fire when his toe is broken in three thousand places??? It's just not possible. He tries and tries, but has no luck. Cirie watches from afar and then laughs at him for shaving half of their flint down with no fire to show for it. That's funny to me, but it shouldn't really be to Cirie, since she kind of needs that flint to last 39 days. Cirie says she just had to sit back and watch Rupert fail because "his ego is so humungous, what can you say?" Finally, J.T. steps in to start the fire and save the flint. Rupert shuffles away, talking to himself. J.T. appears to start the fire immediately. Rupert interviews that he's still worried about his "darn broken toe." He's afraid the tribe will see "how much pain [he's] really in" and how he isn't able to contribute as much to them because of it. Oh my god, Rupert, shut the hell up about your stupid little toe. I do roller derby and despite what you may have seen on Google about me being 5'11", I'm actually pretty small and get knocked around a lot. One time I broke my index finger in the middle of a bout and you know what I did then? I complained about it for the rest of the bout and blamed it on my poor performance. Oh wait, no, I didn't -- I got it taped up and kept skating. And then went about my daily business with a broken finger for the next couple weeks, typing on my computer and writing papers. It wasn't the most comfortable feeling in the world, but I was still able to adapt and go about my daily business without much of a problem. And I'm a wimp, so what does that make Rupert, whose broken second-smallest toe prohibits him from doing just about everything? A giant stupid baby, for one. Clearly the editors agree with me, as they're giving him the big dumb oaf music.

At the Villains camp, Rob and Tyson try to climb a palm tree to get some fronds for the roof of their shelter. Fortunately, they have Jerri there to talk some sense into them, as she points out that this is both unnecessary and ridiculously dangerous. Rob then interviews that while he doesn't want to risk getting hurt just for some fronds, he knows of one person who is "so full of himself" that he won't be able to resist a challenge: DOUCHE. So while Douche interviews that he and Rob are awesome friends and iron sharpens iron, he tries to climb the palm tree while Rob and Sandra laugh at him, then take bets on whether or not he'll be able to do it. Sandra bets he won't, because she is the smartest person there. She interviews that she likes Rob and thinks she's a lot like him. So much so, in fact, that she'd like to align with him "until it's time to cut his throat." In the end, Douche elects not to climb the tree, much to Sandra's delight. Rob now owes her one dollar.

Survivor

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