J.T. claims that he's happy to be on the side of the heroes because he considers himself to be one, even though on his own season he had no problem lying to Douche and stabbing him in the back. Also Taj. Let's be real here: there are no heroes on this show. This whole concept is dumb. Jerri's back, and she has a sense of humor about herself and her place in this show's history. I actually met Jerri once right after the All-Stars season and she was really nice. So I'm rooting for her. Douche promises that he's going to "slay everyone" and "trust no one." "Hero" Tom starts off by saying he's not in the same shape he was last time and hopes he'll be able to keep up with his tribemates. Thanks for the low expectations, Tom! But you're still in better shape than, say, Rupert, so don't sweat it too much. Rob interviews that his tribe should get rid of him as soon as possible, but probably won't. "They never do," he sighs, somewhat sadly. Ha! Rob is only here for the free vacation from his wife and child. Sandra, who is on the Villains tribe despite being a hero in her season in that she: a. was awesome; b. was in an alliance with the beam of shining light that is Rupert, and c. won instead of sourface Lill or the guy who lied about his grandma being dead. But I guess since she swore a lot, she's a villain. Whatever. She says she's ready, willing, and able to be even meaner than she was in her first season. "I'll lie, I don't care. But I'll make up a good lie," she promises. Sandra rules. Meanwhile, Cirie finds it funny that she's on the Heroes tribe. "I'm a gangsta in an Oprah suit!" she says. And with that, Probst does his usual dramatic stance on some rocks near the ocean and says "39 days, 20 people, 1 survivor!"

After the credits, we have to hear from Rupert again, who says he's excited for the game to begin again. Meanwhile, Douche is pretending to shoot an arrow out of his helicopter while Sandra, seated beside him, no doubt thinks "what the fuck are you doing, weirdo?" Incidentally, this season I find myself not hating Douche as much as I did the last time. I know! I don't get it, either. Amanda says she feels like you do right before you bungee jump. I wouldn't know what that feels like because I've never bungee jumped. I will when I'm old enough that if I die doing something so frivolous, it won't really matter. Same with skydiving. Look for me on the senior citizen extreme sports circuit in about fifty years. Also, why is Amanda here? Why not someone from the Micronesia season who hasn't gotten a second chance come on instead? Like Natalie. I really want to see her again. Remember how she didn't exist until like the last five episodes of the season, when she suddenly became a homicidal maniac? That was the best. Oh, how I miss that season.