Episode Report Card
Sara M: B | Grade It Now!
One Decade Older, If Not Wiser

First up are Stephenie and Cirie versus Parvati and Danielle. There is much digging of sand as Probst reminds us that this challenge is recycled from Cirie and Danielle's first season. With that, Cirie uncovers the bag. Parvati tries to take her down, but Cirie awesomely Heismans her away. Despite being stuffed in the face, Parvati is able to grab ahold of Cirie's arm and drag her down. All four women are quickly entangled in a pile of blurs, because that's really why they do these stupid challenges: to give the editors something to look at. Parvati emerges with the bag, only to be spun around and dragged down by Stephenie. Damn, I forgot how strong Stephenie is. Cirie then takes down both Parvati and Danielle "like a linebacker," Probst says. Yes, because she isn't stick-thin like the other three women so she must be the fat football player. Parvati, meanwhile, manages to get Stephenie in a hold. "Break her shoulder!" Courtney requests. I never saw her season, but I like Courtney so far. Danielle emerges with the bag and outruns Cirie to the mat, giving the Villains the first point. Meanwhile, Stephenie returns to her side complaining about her right shoulder. James takes one look at it and calls for a medic. Probst walks over and asks what's going on. "Her shoulder's out," James says. Candice is a med student, so it's up to her to tell us that dislocated shoulders are bad. I'm glad I don't have HDTV so I don't have to see Stephenie's wandering shoulder in greater detail that I already do.

After the break, medical finally arrives to get more camera time this season than, like, Danielle. Probst inserts himself in the action, holding Stephenie's arm up to immobilize it. The doctor lady, who usually doesn't do much more than take someone's pulse and then pull him out of the game, wraps Stephenie up and pulls her shoulder back into place with a horrible cracking sound. Med student Candice can't bear to watch, spinning around with her tongue out. She'll be a great doctor. I know one thing that always makes me feel like I'm in good hands is when I show my doctor an injury and he spins around with his tongue out because he can't bear to look at it. As soon as the shoulder is back in place, Stephenie seems to feel much better, although she isn't thrilled with the other tribe for dislocating her shoulder. I'm sure Parvati didn't do it on purpose. "Wow," Probst says, in a rare show of admiration for a female contestant. Seriously, though: Stephenie is a rock star for that.

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