Episode Report Card
Sara M: B | Grade It Now!
One Decade Older, If Not Wiser

And now, it's time for the second round: Amanda and J.T. versus Randy and Jerri. Jerri gets the bag and calls out for Randy to help her, which probably wasn't wise since J.T. is much closer to her than Randy is. The bag is still partially buried, so Jerri sits on it like a determined mother hen while Amanda and J.T. try to pry her off of it. Randy finally decides to do something and wrestles J.T. away. J.T. leaves the women to the bag and jumps on top of Randy. Sugar cheers for J.T. to kill the hated Randy, like she hasn't done enough to him. J.T. somehow gets the bag out of the ground and has no problem getting past Randy and to the mat.

Third round is a Probst special: all men! It'll be Colby and Tom versus Douche and Li'l Russell. Will Douche finally do something physical, which he managed to avoid for his entire season? Not so much at first, as while the other three men dig in the sand, Douche just stands and watches. Of course, Li'l Russell is able to find the bag, but doesn't get far before he's tackled by Colby and Tom. Douche realizes he has to do stuff now and gets in on the pile-up. While Li'l Russell tries to crush Tom's windpipe, Colby gets the bag, but Douche has his arms locked around his waist. I think he might have grabbed hold of Colby's package for a second there, too. Probst is so jealous. Colby drags Douche back to the finish line, but it turns out that Douche actually has a strategy! He lets Colby push forward all he wants while pushing him sideways towards the Villain mat. When they get close enough, Douche simply pushes Colby and the bag onto the Villains mat, giving the Villains a second point. Tyson can't believe it, and says that Colby "might as well become a woman" for getting owned by Douche of all people. Heh heh heh.

For the fourth round, it's time for another catfight. We've got Sugar and Candice against Sandra and Courtney. Courtney looks confident, but she's thinner than my wrist and wearing what appears to be men's briefs, so whatever. She manages to find the bag, and tries to pull it out of the ground before anyone notices. But Candice is a med student, so she's quick to spot it. Sugar pulls Courtney away from the bag as Candice gets it. But she doesn't go far before Courtney manages to take her down. Sandra destroys Sugar and goes to help Courtney. Sugar weakly tries to help, but Sandra just pushes her away again. And yet, she's in the right place at the right time and Candice is able to throw the bag to her. Sandra takes Sugar down with an awesome flying tackle, causing the bag to fly forward and land in the sand, alone. Sandra then unhooks Sugar's bra, thinking that will stop Sugar. It doesn't. Sugar, now topless, grabs the bag and runs for the mat to give the Heroes a tying point. She then turns around and gives Sandra a double-fisted middle finger. So now she's got blurs on her chest and both hands. Awesome.

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