Survivor
Sleeping With The Enemy (Amazon)

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Joanna: B | Grade It Now!
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Bare Asses and Bad-Asses

Deena, Davey Rockett, Christy, HeiDDi, and Alex all know that in the "unlikely event" that they're attacked by an alligator, crocodile, or caiman, they should punch it in the snout, cover its eyes, and try to get on its back. HeiDDi takes Matthew out of the game, and he takes it well, concerned only that he still "get[s] his licks." Peachy assures him that he does, and so Matthew takes Davey Rockett out of the game as well, causing massive "booyah"-ing by the other members of the tribe. Davey Rockett and Deena each then take a hack at Alex, prompting him to call it a "tough room." In return, Alex takes a swipe at Deena. Lastly, Christy goes for Alex's last thread, and as he heads off to join the others, Matthew enthuses, "Welcome to the morgue!" Deena and Christy fist-bop because that's what they do.

Everyone left in the game except Rob knows that "if you find yourself face to face with a bushmaster," you're looking at the world's largest viper. As they flip their answers, Butch immediately looks over at Deena's card, to see if he got it right. Looking at Rob's answer in disbelief, Peachy asks, "You thought it was a forest ranger?" Rob responds, "I thought it was a porn star before you read the choices." Peachy doesn't like that kind of humor and flatly tells Rob to take a step back, while Alex laughs, "Oh man, that was horrible, man!" Then Deena and HeiDDi double-team Rob, though not in the way he'd like. Jenna gets her first hit and goes for Butch, while Christy takes Rob out of the game. Butch returns the favor to Jenna, leaving only Christy and HeiDDi with no strikes against them. I hope that doesn't make HeiDDi think people actually like her.

Everyone left in the game also knows that Amazonian tribesmen still use primitive weapons like bows and arrows and blowpipes to hunt birds and monkeys. Butch doublechecks his to make sure he gets it right, or maybe to confirm that his answer card is working because, really, for a high-school principal, he doesn't seem to know very much. HeiDDi takes a swipe at Butch, who looks dismayed. In return, Butch takes a swipe at HeiDDi, causing Peachy to probe, "Feel [sic] good, didn't it?" Butch agrees, "It sure did." To my immense disappointment, Jenna turns out to be a lefty (I'm a total snob about lefties) and to Butch's cries of "No! No! No! No! No!" she knocks him out of the game. As we see that his mask's glasses survived the blow, Butch asks, "Do you know how many students would like to do that?" Christy and Deena hack at each other to finish out the round.

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Survivor

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