Slip Through Your Fingers

Episode Report Card
Joanna: B | Grade It Now!
Booty Duty

Ted looks shiny and in need of a new, smaller shirt. He addresses Brian first: "You truly are a great, great car salesman." He says that Brian sold Ted his friendship, his "understanding of cultural diversity," and his word, only to find out that "each one of those qualities were lemons." Clay, "on the other hand," sits in the Final Two only because he rode Brian's coattails. I'm not sure how that qualifies as an "on the other hand" -- it's more like "on somebody else's left foot." Ted snits that he really overestimated Clay, because Clay's "nothing more than an ignorant, southern, redneck hillbilly," to which Clay responds, "That's fine." Ted asks Clay to define "a racist person," and Clay says he doesn't "know of a racist word." Ted attempts to clarify whether Clay has made racist comments behind Ted's back, and Clay answers that he didn't, but if he did, he "sure didn't mean to." Peachy looks wary at the direction the discussion has taken, as Ted continues to prod Clay: "So, what is Clay's definition of a racist person?" Clay begins to explain, and Ted snits, "My definition of a racist person is this," as if Clay needs help composing his answer. Clay, however, needs no help and answers perfectly adequately by explaining that a racist person belittles people of other races "whether it's white, black, brown, pink, or purple. Whatever." Ted can't find fault with that, and asks what Clay can say to convince Ted that Clay is worthy of Ted's vote. Clay says, "I was, uh, fair with Ted." A perplexed Ted repeats, "Fair with me? One hundred percent fair with me?" Ted asks Brian if that's true, and Brian sigh, "No." Clay, meanwhile, jumps in just to antagonize Ted further: "I don't have anything else. That's it." He does look defiantly bothered, and I would too, if someone called me a racist on national television but had no means of backing it up. Not to mention if those allegations cost me a million dollars.

A happy Jan is next, and we seen that they've switched around the order so that pissy Helen could go last. Jan greets them with a chipper "Hi guys!" and continues on to say that she spent thirty-eight days with them, and wants Clay to explain how he worked harder than Brian in "the total work of the water and the food and making the tribe live and survive on day to day." Clay thinks he did his share to get the food, and admits that Brian did more swimming to get the water. He fails to point out that since Brian had a hand in losing the boat, it only made good sense. Instead, he says that every time he offered to fetch the water, Brian insisted that he'd do it. Jan next asks Brian to compare the workload, and Brian rattles off a list of chores, including daily clamming, water runs, tending to the fire, and the "wonderful soup that allowed us to survive for so many days." He says he knew what needed to be done around camp, and was willing and able to make that contribution. Jan nods and thanks them; she's satisfied with their answers.

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