Snakes Are Misunderstood…We Have An Understanding Now

Episode Report Card
admin: B | Grade It Now!
Not So Fast, Sylvia
In a hurry? Read the recaplet for a nutshell description!

Previously on To Have And Have Not: nineteen survivors -- down one from the original plan as a result of a big quitter and apparent non-go-getter who barely missed her chance to be covered with bites and voted off before the merge -- worked together for a couple of days to build a fancy shelter, which everyone (and I do mean everyone) found noteworthy primarily because it had a toilet. Then, they were split apart into two tribes. I personally would have called them Potty and Latrine, but that's because I'm not sophisticated. There are a lot of complex vagaries to the Survivor caste system. The winners of the challenge, Moto, landed the nice camp and didn't have to go to tribal council, so they sat around on hammocks and ate with spoons and drank tea with their pinkies up, while the losers went off to an empty beach to eat dirt with their hands and scratch themselves and ponder the first boot. James -- who appears to irreversibly be going by "Rocky" now, which weirdly seems like it might just be something he decided would be cool for television -- got together with Jessica and Erica, figured he had it made, and was surprised when it turned out that the few can't really use pure force to tell the many how to live. (He has, however, learned this now, making him arter-smay than the esident-pray.) In the end, Jessica took a powder based on the perception of her performance in the challenge. Sylvia, meanwhile, was rewarded for her leadership with a trip to Exile Island and a promised return to whichever tribe wound up being the bad one. Perhaps this is destined to be a Jenna Morasca-type season, in which working hard only makes bad things happen to you. Time to vote off the ugly old women! They're just jealous! Let them eat wrinkle cream!

The day after tribal council, we check in at Ravu, where things are dire. Like, lie-on-your-back-and-moan dire. There's no fire, so there's no boiling water, so there's no water, so everybody is very, very unhappy. Some of the men are experimenting with licking water off leaves, as Earl explains that they have to do what's necessary to survive, at this point. He says that they honestly can't even think straight until they get some water. Anthony leans down to lick a leaf. "We're all just dehydrated," Earl says. "It makes you delirious." Hey, "delirious" sounds like fun. It sounds like more fun than leaf-licking.

Credits. Did you know there's someone playing whose name is "Liliana"? I sure didn't. But there is. And she has been completely, utterly unnoticed until this week. And (SPOILER!) she's not getting any more visible this week. I guess she's on Moto, since at least we saw everybody else voting last week and I think I know who's on Ravu. Wait, maybe she's one of the ones with a nickname. Is she Mookie? Boo? Stinky? Boner?

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