Survivor
Something Cruel Is About To Happen…Real Soon

Episode Report Card
Miss Alli: B | 14 USERS: A+
YOU GRADE IT
The One Where One Tribe Has A Toilet

After the commercials, the tribe finds its way to the location of the giant pile of wood. But not only is there wood -- there's a whole variety of stuff that will go into the shelter. There are shingles for the roof and so forth, and they're all mighty surprised by that. They find a pot, a bunch of tools, paints, ropes...it's basically a free-for-all of stuff that they would never normally have access to on this show. There's also quite a bit of food, including basmati rice, which...you know, you might eat on purpose in real life. Rocky, in an interview, explains again, in case you missed it, that they had a toilet seat. They pick up the provisions and head back down the hill. Erica ("Non-Profit Fundraiser," which I swear to God I thought said "Non-Profit Fun Drainer," which seemed kind of appropriate) says that she was very surprised, as everyone was, by all this stuff, so she was kind of anticipating some kind of "curveball." If I didn't know better, I'd think these people are smart enough to realize that they're probably not going to live in luxury without interruption for thirty-nine days.

Sylvia ("Architect") takes some charge of the construction of the shelter once they get back to camp, and while I guess she'd have an advantage in reading and understanding the plans, and she's probably a good spatial thinker and stuff, I'm not sure her skills are exactly what's required. It's like...she's concept and this is execution, right? Anyway. They figure out that the shelter goes right by the cave they discovered earlier, and there's a kitchen, bathroom, blah bling blah. What follows is a sequence right out of almost every first episode of this show ever, and every episode of The Apprentice ever, where one person -- here, it's Sylvia -- starts taking charge and being bossy and annoying people, who fix her with glares while she barks a series of orders, apparently unaware that this is how people go home early. Gary ("School Bus Driver") (and, although it doesn't say this, "Minnesotan") interviews that Sylvia seemed to be trying to dominate the situation, and he sort of thinks that they should all be working together a little more as equals. Sylvia announces, as to one of the posts, "I feel that this guy is a little bit askew, but oh, well." Rocky doesn't know what "askew" means, and he does a little routine about how they'll have to explain the big words to the dumb guy. And...okay, but "askew" is really not a big word, you know? "Askew" is kind of a small, rather common word, really. Sylvia tells him it's "an architectural term," which...I mean, I guess, in the same way "crooked" is an architectural term. I wish she'd just said, "It means it's not square." But she doesn't, so Rocky asks, "What's 'ascoot' mean?" Okay, "ascoot" is inherently funny, and I will begin using it immediately. I'm not sure what for quite yet, but I don't think it really matters. ("The whole thing was a little bit...ascoot.") The definition Sylvia offers is, "It means not orthogonal." There are two reasons this is funny. First of all, I would believe she used "askew" in passing, but you'll never convince me that she thought Rocky would know what "orthogonal" meant, so she's just showing herself up to be a snot by using it. Second of all, she pronounced it "orthaaaagonal," and it's "orthogonal." So she thinks there's an "a" in the middle there, which there isn't, and that's the risk there. Finally, Sylvia decides to stop being cute, and says, "Ninety degrees, not ninety degrees." Now why would she not have just said it that way from the beginning? Well, because she's being like that on purpose, you see.

Previous 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13Next

Survivor

Comments

SHARE THE SNARK

X

Get the most of your experience.
Share the Snark!

See content relevant to you based on what your friends are reading and watching.

Share your activity with your friends to Facebook's News Feed, Timeline and Ticker.

Stay in Control: Delete any item from your activity that you choose not to share.

The Latest Activity On TwOP