Sorry…I Blew It

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The Champagne And The Challenge Spaz

Colby now interviews that Jerri hasn't changed "one iota" from the last time she played. And the fact that he seems to really think that is how you can tell that she never had a chance with him at all, because they've shown nothing to suggest that she's been anything like the kind of obnoxious, pushy know-it-all that she was last time. In fact, she seems to have gone to quite a lot of trouble to try not to act that way, not that I'd expect Colby to notice or give credit. He bitches for quite a good stretch about how much he doesn't like her, and then he goes for the often-attempted but never-successful maneuver in which you try to be better than someone else while simultaneously proving that you are utterly in the grip of your dislike of her. "I really just let it roll off my back," he says, "and maybe it's because I know that Jerri's not going to win this game." Yeah. That must be why you're so at peace with the whole thing. When will these people learn that the way to prove to people that they're beneath your attention is to pay no attention to them?

Out in the water, as Kathy washes her hair, she laughs to Shii Ann in a snooty southern accent, "I swe-ah, that woman is such a bitch!" And she and Shii Ann laugh hysterically. As Jerri proves what a horrible bitch she is by, you know, walking on the beach. After recapping about a zillion hours of reality shows, I have finally realized that there is one quality that annoys me in contestants like no other: self-satisfaction. Part of the reason for that is that self-satisfaction is inherently humorless, because when you're being that completely pleased with yourself, you have no capacity for bafflement, and if you have no capacity for bafflement, then you, by definition, have no sense of humor. As if this isn't irritation enough, Kathy adds to it by giggling, "Ah love slam-dunkin' people!" She needs to shut up. A lot. As soon as possible. Did I used to like her? That seems like an awfully long time ago.

At camp, Jerri wanders around while she voices over that she knows she doesn't have any allies at Mogo Mogo. She adds that despite the constant threat, she feels okay, because she feels like she's constantly underestimated, which is "right where [she] wanted to be." She says she wants to be "the non-threatening, Zenlike, easygoing Jerri who's here to have fun." I think it's really funny that she thinks it's so obvious that her behavior is completely different, while Colby thinks it's so obvious that her behavior is exactly the same. She ends with "I say bring it on. Let's go. Game on." And if I never hear anyone say "game on" again, it will be too soon.

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