Survivor
Sorry…I Blew It

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The Champagne And The Challenge Spaz

Mogo Mogo, the Tribe Of Having Absolutely No Fun, Ever, returns to camp very sadly, with Ethan carrying the flag on his shoulder. Even without the Eagle-Eyed Forum Posters to help me, I like to think I would have come up with a The Passion of the Ethan joke, with the way he's bearing that cross. Lex interviews that it was a huge challenge with a huge reward, and that losing is a huge letdown. He says "huge" more than anybody I've ever heard besides Trump, I think. Although I guess Donald technically says "yooge." Anyway, Lex points out that the lead was theirs to lose, and...well, they lost it. As they settle back into camp, Ethan says, "I just want to apologize formally. I screwed up." Jerri is the one to bail him out, saying she "doesn't think it's any one person's fault." And although I do think this one certainly points to Ethan, between the time he lost in the woods and the broken paddle, I also agree with Jerri that the real reason they ultimately lost was the fucked-up steering, in which they all played a role. They all try to throw in their little "it's okay" remarks, but Ethan is having none of it. "I feel responsible, and I'm taking responsibility for it," he says. He repeats this in an interview, saying basically that he blames himself. He just couldn't get the ropes untied. He and Colby and Lex sit around camp, and Lex asks if Ethan wants to talk about not being able to get the knot out. "I couldn't get the knot out," Ethan says. Well, that's simple, at least. It actually borders on "simpleton." Ethan interviews that he needs to be seen as someone who can help in challenges, and that he failed. I'm not really sure he was working such a great challenge reputation anyway, considering that he...you know, freaks out every time, and is kind of a huge klutz anyway. He says he doesn't know if he's needed or not, but that he knows somebody is being voted out later, and he doesn't know if it's going to be him. I think I need a macro for the "I don't feel secure; someone has to go; I just hope it isn't me" speech.

Elsewhere, happy music plays as the Chapera yacht docks in a cove. The tribe gets off the boat and walks off into the green of the island, and there, they find their table of desserts. Now, I will grant you that I have a very minimal sweet tooth to begin with -- I'm much more of a salt/spice person -- but this spread totally underwhelmed me. It looks like one of those tables where you see a lot of fussy little tart-looking things with jellied strawberries that look like they're forty years old topped off with a swirl of Reddi-Whip. This looks to me like the dessert table at a badly-catered corporate dinner, I guess. Actually, I was enjoying an evening with my friend The Professor on one occasion I can remember, and after he made dinner, he served me chocolate chip cookies with a dish of chocolate chip ice cream. And I remember that we had a conversation in which we agreed that it was preposterous that people would go to the trouble of making foot-tall, complicated, time-consuming, aerated, meticulously arranged desserts when they could just eat cookies and ice cream. So what I would have been looking for from the Heavenly Dessert Table would have been a plate of cookies and a barrel of Breyers vanilla. Nothing they can lay out is going to make me any happier than that. So for the most part, I think the dessert table is a rip-off, but they seem happy. "I've never packed so much food in my mouth in a short time," Jenna says. "It was disgusting, but so good." Hee. A little funny again, I thought.

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