Survivor
Survivor

Episode Report Card
Joanna: A- | 549 USERS: C+
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Romance Is in the Heir

Half the tribe members sleep, while HeiDDi cries to Jenna and Rob, whining that she helped the three men remaining in the game -- particularly Butch, whom she claims wouldn't be there without her. She interviews that she's never felt so "manipulated, cheated, and hurt all at the same time." Rob apologizes for hurting the women, preaching that it's time for them to evaluate what they're willing to do to win. HeiDDi sobs that she's not willing to turn her back on loved ones, and punctuates this announcement with a gigantically unattractive sniffle. Rob rolls his eyes before telling us in an interview that Jenna and HeiDDi were "under the impression" that they held the majority and were going to ride it through to the end. He grinningly announces that the tables have turned, and that the girls will now have to "kiss some ass" to ensure that one of them makes it through the next three days. Actually, either way, one of them is going to make it the next three days, unless they simultaneously fall into the mouth of a crocodile.

Drops of rain fall from tree branches on the morning of Day 31. Jenna is snuggled up to nasty-ass HeiDDi with the nasty-ass remains of the previous evening's Tribal Council sun on her face. As the other members of the tribe work around camp, Matthew explains that it poured rain for two hours the previous days, and that their shelter wasn't waterproofed. Because the roof wasn't properly constructed, rain leaked in, and everyone was miserable. He orders the other members of the tribe about how to slant the roof with the very clear instruction of "boom, boom, boom." I don't know why they don't put that on my IKEA manual. Matthew explains his plan to build another fire shelter right next to the one they have now, "but [to] use it for people." So his plan is to burn them all! It's all so clear now. He claims that it will be easy to construct a second such structure, because all they have to do is tie a couple poles together and "merely" stack some palm fronds. Butch warns them that the rain is coming, and a watchful Matthew kicks into military mode: "Okay! Palm fronds! Buckets up! Let's layer 'em! Right now!" As Matthew voice-overs that this "quick fix" is the morning's project, pouting HeiDDi dons her jacket and stomps around camp while doing nothing to help. The other tribe members scurry around in the rain, while Jenna and HeiDDi stand under cover and watch them. Jenna mutters, "Piss off," before telling us in an interview that she's not giving up because Rob stabbed her in the back, and that he'll eventually "have to pay." Preferably in peanut butter and chocolate.

Survivor

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