Spirits And The Final Four

Episode Report Card
Miss Alli: C | Grade It Now!
It's Totally About Integrity

Twila lies in the hammock and voices over that she is "apprehensive about tonight." She says that she thinks the deserves the money because she played the best. She "didn't suck up to anybody," for one thing, and I'm not sure when that became good game play. She says she never was less than genuine, and hopes the jury won't hold it against her that she "outwitted and outplayed" them. Apparently, she has never seen the show. She and Chris have another hug as they're getting ready to leave camp, and then they sit in the hammock together. And when they do, the string abruptly breaks, and it dumps them on their asses. Twila breaks out in laughter. "What an ending," Chris says. I'm sure we could come up with some incredible ass-breaking metaphor, but I won't. Because this episode is so long already. Chris interviews that, as they approach tribal council, he's more and more concerned that the women's alliance will, "out of spite," vote for Twila just to keep the women's alliance from being all for naught. Then he and Twila pack up their gear, discuss how "wild" the experience was, and take off. And there is one last lingering shot of the "coffee" setup, because Folgers paid good money and wants something.

As they walk to tribal council, Twila talks about how she will remember for a lifetime her "sense of pride" about playing the game. And it was great, and it was an adventure, and yak yak yak. Chris says that it's "ironic," and tries for a very, very stretched analogy where he won on this island even though the island is all about chiefs and he wasn't the chief in the tribe of six women and him. That is just a little too thin of a thread, there. "Now, it's down to me and a woman," he says, as if that matters. He also claims that even just being the last guy in the game would be "an accomplishment."

Vvvvvvolcano! And then...the final tribal council. And the members of the jury enter, accompanied by loud drumbeats on each of their names. Ominous! They all sit. Jeff begins by snagging the immunity necklace back from Chris. He congratulates Chris and Twila by getting to the end, but says that now, they'll have to sit here and be berated endlessly for being better at the game than the whiny babies with whom they are about to be confronted. He tells them that they'll each get to "make an opening statement" (ugh), and then the jury will ask them questions, and they'll throw around a lot of bullshit, and then they'll say some more crap, and then the jury will vote for whomever they were going to vote for anyway, based on what they think will reflect most positively on them and prove that they didn't really care about winning anyway, they just cared about playing with integrity. If you disagree with any portion of this description, I humbly suggest you have never seen the show.

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