Spirits And The Final Four

Episode Report Card
Miss Alli: C | Grade It Now!
It's Totally About Integrity

Asked the same question, Twila says that she first wants to apologize for the son thing, again, some more, but even given her regret over that, she allows that she's surprised to find herself put in the position of being the horrible person that "nobody likes." Which...I see what she's saying, but I think that may be something to be sucked up more and worried over less. Ami orders her to get back to the question, and Twila thinks about it a little and agrees that Ami is too nice. Not hard enough. Not tough enough. The first person to say "Well, what makes us different is that I beat you, and you didn't beat me first" will get my eternal love.

Chad starts his questioning with Twila, and you can basically tell that he's not there to be a prick or to prove anything. What did I say about grace? He asks her what about the experience has changed her. Twila says that she's learned that she needs to think about the way she comes across and think about what she says. She adds that she can be "quick to judge," which she thinks is bad. Chris says something about people's "genuine qualities" or something, and how they "never falter," and then he says he doesn't have those qualities, so it's probably not fair that he's in the final two. Or something. It's basically the "you're all superior human beings, and that's how I beat you" argument, I think. But really, it is very confusing, even though it goes straight to what jurors most want to hear. Chad's bald head gleams with bafflement.

And now, Sarge, whom you will see listed in your programs as our Designated Asshole of the Evening. He moves to Twila first, telling her that he holds to his values of loyalty and honor and such. Therefore, he would never want anything to do with Twila ever again, and wouldn't want to talk to her if he saw her walking down the street. Not that he's bitter. He then delivers the strange news that he thinks Twila needs the money a lot more than Chris, and he's 99 percent sure that he will vote for Twila. (Chris's entire face, head, and soul: "WHAT?") But first, he'd like to know from Twila whether a million dollars is "the price tag to cast your son's name straight to hell." He goes on to mock her stated hope that James would forgive her: "If my mother did it, I'd tell her to kiss my ass." So he just wants to know whether that's the price to send her son to hell. Now, let me get this straight. In Sarge's version of religion, one person can send another person to hell by swearing on their name and lying. So God would look at a perfectly nice boy who was decent and God-fearing his whole life and would send him to hell instead of heaven because of something that someone else did. Those are the implications? That is fucked up. I'm sorry. I try not to cast aspersions on other people's theology, but are you kidding me? That's your loving God? Whatever. That's actually a very reality-show version of getting into heaven if you ask me. You're in or out based on the quality of your alliances, I guess. At any rate, Twila, shaken, says to Sarge's "price tag" question, "No." Sarge then moves on to Chris, telling him that frankly, Sarge will probably not vote for him, since Twila needs to buy back her son's soul or something like that. Thus, he wants to know, if he doesn't vote for Chris, whether he and Chris are still friends. Chris, knowing that it is the only way Sarge might vote for him, swears that he doesn't care if Sarge votes for him. He only cares that they stay friends. He loves you, man! Sarge sits.

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