Survivor
Spirits And The Final Four

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Miss Alli: C | Grade It Now!
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It's Totally About Integrity

Previously: the season. Well, those ten minutes went quickly. Maybe we can all get out of here in a couple of pages and return to our lives before you can say "burnt coconut-manioc-plantain stew."

Credits. You know, I'll tell you: what really disappointed me about this season was that it seemed initially like there might be some sort of volcano theme or motif at some point, and it just never materialized. Damn those unrealized expectations.

Skull! Volcano! Moon! (That's good for triple-motif points, for those of you playing the home game.) It is Night 36 at Alinta, and the tribe has just returned from the removal of Julie. And Eliza, shockingly, is complaining about the heartbreak of tribal council. Which I think may qualify as a fourth motif, although I may have to await a ruling from the judges. She was so happy when she voted to boot Twila, because she thought it would go that way! She was so thrilled! Chris voices over that, indeed, he voted against Julie and "took Eliza by surprise." Which isn't too difficult, provided you know how to walk quietly and make like a book with lots of words in it so she doesn't pay any attention to you. Chris adds that Julie "pulled a fast one" after the merge when she returned to the women rather than staying with Lopevi, so he "got her back." Indeed. So if you're keeping track of which motive is the frontrunner in the dart-throwing contest that is the race to the finish, that's one point in favor of "revenge."

Eliza goes on around the fire, babbling for everyone's benefit about how difficult it is for her to know whom to trust when it almost seems like everybody else is trying to keep her from winning. Man, she hates that. She continues her noisy complaints about hearing one thing and then hearing something else, almost as if there is trickery afoot, and Chris -- temporarily putting aside his efforts to keep her on his side in favor of his ever more pressing need to get her to shut her blinking yap -- says, "Part of the game, Eliza." Eliza, however, is also still unhappy about Twila making the comment (or the implied comment) that Eliza "didn't deserve to be" in the final five, whatever the hell that means in a game where you can win prizes by answering questions about other people's personal hygiene or whatever. Twila -- unable to leave well enough alone and determined to drive off any remaining jury votes she possibly can -- overhears and repeats that she doesn't think Eliza deserves to be around, so there. Eliza, Twila maintains, is only here as a result of "riding people's coattails." Not really possible, but let's not do that argument again. When Eliza tries to argue for her own usefulness, Twila rips into her for not doing anything around camp but "boil[ing] freaking water." And as I recall, she wasn't great at that. Of course, it's not a real survival competition, and you're not graded on how hard you work, so this is all just a little silly. It's also rather striking, the way Twila is doing a greatest-hits version of the arguments I hate. And I think we know that "I played with integrity" will be making an appearance soon. Maybe somebody will say "fly under the radar." Granted, they'll probably stay away from "think outside the box," but you can't have everything.

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Survivor

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