Anyway, it appears as though President Beefcake was sleeping, just as Chiclets was, so Aras drags them out of bed for a talk about being responsible and blah blah blah your-mother-and-I-are-disappointed-cakes. "We can't be out catching food for a whole day and then the onus of fire is on us," Aras says with disgust. I don't think they were out all day; I really don't. If they were out all day fetching a bag of snails, then there might be a better use for their time. Courtney points out -- and there seems to be evidence to bear her out -- that this is bullshit, because she works at camp a lot. Aras responds by ratcheting the bullshit up an additional notch: "What if me and Shane and Bruce got voted off the island? Would you guys just fall asleep if the fire wasn't going?" Well, no, asshole. Probably, Courtney would tend the fire just as she has in the past, and just as both tribes of women managed to survive for several days without your ass prior to the time the tribes merged. In fact, it is my recollection that it was Aras's tribe of Young Dudes who admitted that their shelter sucked, their fire sucked, and they didn't have a goddamn clue what they were doing. He is lecturing about the fire, and his idea of helping the fire along involved healing touch. It's only when he gets around women that Aras decides he's in a position to deliver lectures about survival. This guy is my least favorite kind of sexist on the planet. I'd rather a guy were just straightforwardly Donna Reed-obsessed than this self-justifying, I'm-all-sensitive bullshit. Have you ever read "One Look At My Music Collection Will Show You How Much I Respect Women"? Aras is totally, completely That Guy. Trader Joe's granola, indeed.
Anyway. "I think this whole question is kind of stupid," Courtney says, and just for a moment, I love her. Aras talks about how he has this Alliance Of Suck, but wishes he wasn't in it with Courtney, and that he wouldn't be "if [he] had [his] druthers." Oh, "druthers." Thanks for visiting from my high school's production of Li'l Abner. As the group sits around eating dinner, Cirie can barely keep from grinning at all the tension, and she interviews that everything around camp is drama, and that she finds it delightful. She says her strategy is to keep working and stay out of it. And: perfect planning, lady.