The ladies row to Exile. Cirie says she respects all of the players, even though she beat them. The canoe beaches on Exile Island. First torch is stupid Jon's. Parvati says he was "kind of a decent guy," but we all know that's just what he wanted her to think. Speaking as someone who has met Jon in person and had to resist his advances (I know -- how could I turn down such a hunk? Sheer willpower), I will disagree with that. Jon claims to be the "cerebral assassin" of Survivor, but couldn't give his all to this game and was happy to leave it on his own terms. The rest of us are just happy he left. The second torch belongs to Mary, who none of them knew and can't say much about. She says it's awful to go out so early, but maybe her tribe saw her as a threat. Not all of them -- just the gigantic hulking mass of stupid that was Joel. Third is Yau-Man, who Cirie says "had to go so early, because he was such a great player." Yau-Man says he knew he had a target on his back when someone called him one of the most likeable players. And he had a great time even though he left so early. Fourth up is Mikey B, who the girls say was a "fierce competitor." Mikey says it hurts to leave the game this early but it was still a life-changing experience. The girls come across Joel, and don't have much to say about him except that he was "intense." Seeing Joel again reminds me of how he almost single-handedly doomed the entire tribe of "Fans." Taking out Mary and Mikey B instead of Chet? Dumbass. He couldn't have been booted quickly enough for me. Joel says he feels like he failed because he didn't make it to the end. Well, you did fail, Joel. You suck!
Jonathan is next, and the girls acknowledge that he only left the game because he was taken out medically. Jonathan says he feels like he can leave this game with his head held high and with no animosity towards anyone (except, I'd hope, the people who planned that immunity challenge), and it was a "once in a lifetime experience I got to do twice." Chet is next, and Cirie says the chickens haven't been the same since he left. Let that be your legacy, Chet, because that's probably the best thing we can say about you in this game. Chet says he always dreamt of being on the show and he's happy to make it to the seventh person voted out when everyone thought he'd be the first. Yeah, he was so happy to make it that far that he basically quit. Except he didn't even have the balls to do that, so he made everyone else quit for him and screwed Tracy over. I'm still mad about that. Kathy is next, and Parvati says she was a "colorful character." "Yeah, to say the least," Cirie adds. You can tell they're making an effort to put things as kindly as possibly. Kathy says she's "in awe" of anyone who has ever played this game, which is the most difficult thing she's ever done -- even harder than giving birth. In fact, she'd rather "whip out" eight more kids in ten minutes than do this again. Thanks for the mental image, Kathy! And then there's Tracy. Amanda says Tracy was underestimated in the game, and I would agree with that. Tracy says she's not the same person she was when she started this game, even though she was only in it for twenty days. Oh, and there's a shot of her throwing a rock at the tile during one of the challenges, and she just threw that thing like a champ, didn't she? Like, she nailed it. Meanwhile, I believe that was the challenge where Joel did not break any tiles. I wonder how Tracy would have done in this game had she been ten or fifteen years younger. Or at least put on a tribe that didn't ostracize people simply because of their age.