Episode Report Card
Sara M: B | Grade It Now!
Only Shallow

Next is Jason, who the girls acknowledge managed to beat Ozzy twice, although they don't mention all the times Ozzy beat him, probably because they lost count. Jason says that no one got to see him as the strong competitor and good provider he was because Ozzy overshadowed him. What is he even talking about? Ozzy caught fish and stuff. Jason killed a rat and grossed everyone out. There is no comparison. Good thing you got to overshadow Ozzy eventually when you went out for even dumber reasons than he did, Jason. And if you're sick of Ozzy "overshadowing" everything you do, maybe you shouldn't make your good-bye speech all about him. Dumbass! There's James, who Parvati calls her "little cuddlebug." The girls say James was an honest, straight shooter. And that's why he kind of sucked as a player in this game. Funny at times, but no strategy and therefore, boring as hell. James says he wishes he could have been voted out rather than taken out with a finger injury. I guess he should have been more careful when handling clams, then. Alexis is up next, and I can't wait for this snoozer segment to end already. Cirie says that she's glad Alexis got taken out because she'd be hard to beat now. Alexis says she feels like she came into this game a "little girl" and left it "a woman." I think she came into this game non-existent and left after making her mark with bitchfaces at Probst about cookies. And then there's Erik. Cirie says she's sorry Erik had to be the "victim" of the women. Erik says the women left in the game are vicious and he's learned a lot about women in general, like "the way they are" and "the way they operate." I think it should have opened his eyes about himself and the way he operates, which is easily fooled into making a seriously stupid decision in front of millions of television viewers. This has nothing to do with women and everything to do with being a sap. Learn from this, Erik. And finally, there's Natalie, who the ladies acknowledge was the last "Fan" standing. Natalie girl-powers that, "given an opportunity to think," a woman will always out-think a man, "hands down, every time." Oh really? What if the woman is, say, Wendy the Retard from the Howard Stern show and the man is Stephen Hawking? That's why we don't use words like "always," Nat. Also, Natalie tells us that she's her own biggest fan. Well, she's certainly a bigger fan of herself than I am, so I'll give her that.

The walk is finally done, so the ladies take all of the torches to the Exile Island lifeguard tower and light it on fire. They stand on the beach and watch it burn down. I'm sure that's doing wonders for Micronesia's air quality.

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