Survivor

Episode Report Card
Sara M: B | Grade It Now!
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Only Shallow

Probst grabs the urn, thanks Amanda, Parvati and the jury for a great season, and leaves. The jury applauds. Parvati and Amanda hug. Probst walks away. Please let him do a ridiculous traveling montage! It was my favorite. They haven't done it in a long time, have they? Oh, for the days of Probst on a jet-ski while an animated map of the world shows his route back to the US!

Ah, but no. We just go to New York City, where Parvati and Amanda are both wearing way too much make-up. Especially Amanda. She looked better on the island. Go natural, Amanda! The Survivor random flute band plays as Probst walks in with the urn. Oh, Probst, what happened? You look like a mess. I don't think he's washed or cut his hair since he left the tribal council. The crowd goes wild until Probst has to tell them to sit down and shut up so we can do this thing. Probst welcomes Parvati, Amanda and the jury and says that "word on the street" is that this was the best season since the first one. Do you think Probst goes around quizzing the people on the street about Survivor? I kinda do, actually. Anyway, it may well be the best season since the first one, but it definitely won't have the best winner in my opinion. That person is sitting on the jury in third place. Hmph. Parvati reacts to the news by pursing her lips and Probst opens the urn to read the votes.

The first vote is Alexis' vote for Parvati. The second is Erik's for Amanda. The crowd goes wild at this, so either Amanda stacked the audience with her family or I have yet again missed the boat on what America wants in a Survivor winner. Parvati gets a second vote. Amanda gets a second vote. And now it's time for the votes we didn't see on the show. Parvati gets a third vote, complete with a drawing of what appears to be one stick figure stabbing another one in the back. A third vote for Amanda ties it up again. The seventh vote is for Parvati, which means that it's either a tie or she won. I hope it is a tie, just to make it complicated for the producers and mess everything up, because this is what happens when you change plans in the middle of the game and create an eight-person jury. But the eighth vote is for Parvati, giving her five to Amanda's three. Parvati wins! She's in shock and breathlessly thanks the jury. This is the most genuine we've seen Parvati all season. Amanda tells Parvati, "You just won a million dollars!" More like you just lost a million dollars, Amanda. AGAIN. Oh well -- two second-place finishes in a row is nothing to sneeze at, either. Parvati stands up and Eliza runs towards her and they hug and Eliza says "I loved you, I voted for you!" Man, Amanda must have really sucked it at the final tribal council for Eliza to swallow her pride and her hurt feelings like that. And now I guess they're friends?

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Survivor

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