Probst grabs the urn, thanks Amanda, Parvati and the jury for a great season, and leaves. The jury applauds. Parvati and Amanda hug. Probst walks away. Please let him do a ridiculous traveling montage! It was my favorite. They haven't done it in a long time, have they? Oh, for the days of Probst on a jet-ski while an animated map of the world shows his route back to the US!
Ah, but no. We just go to New York City, where Parvati and Amanda are both wearing way too much make-up. Especially Amanda. She looked better on the island. Go natural, Amanda! The Survivor random flute band plays as Probst walks in with the urn. Oh, Probst, what happened? You look like a mess. I don't think he's washed or cut his hair since he left the tribal council. The crowd goes wild until Probst has to tell them to sit down and shut up so we can do this thing. Probst welcomes Parvati, Amanda and the jury and says that "word on the street" is that this was the best season since the first one. Do you think Probst goes around quizzing the people on the street about Survivor? I kinda do, actually. Anyway, it may well be the best season since the first one, but it definitely won't have the best winner in my opinion. That person is sitting on the jury in third place. Hmph. Parvati reacts to the news by pursing her lips and Probst opens the urn to read the votes.