Survivor
Storms

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Joanna: B | Grade It Now!
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Hear No Evil, See No Evil

Night has rolled around at Jaburu, and Janet is so disoriented she's stumbling around in the dark, not even sure if she's on a trail. Meanwhile, a perfectly oriented crocodile slithers around nearby. Or not so nearby, but we're supposed to think it is. The tribe members are out collecting wood, and why couldn't they do that during the day? In an interview, Deena tells us that it's not like "dark in the city" -- they can't see each other or where they're going, and half the tribe "went nutty."

Thunder crashes, and the potato-sack idol, adorned with glow-in-the-dark paint, is highlighted by the lightning. Joanna preaches in the tent about the devil, thanking the Lord and motioning fanatically. As fanatics do. Deena explains that Joanna doesn't like the immunity idol because the Ten Commandments forbid it. She then proves that she did her fair share of Sunday School, reciting, "Thou shalt not have no other gods before me." Deena continues explaining that Joanna won't touch the idol or have anything to do with it. Joanna's on the show, and the whole thing is about the idol, so whether she likes it or not, she has something to do with it. Periodically throughout this segment, the camera lingers on the idol, which is looking ominously monkey-faced, and it's hysterical. Jeanne suggests that Joanna look at it as a symbol rather than an idol, and Joanna snaps that she can't because "it's called that for a reason." So I suppose Joanna doesn't watch American Idol, either. But then again, most of those people really are evil. Jeanne tells Joanna that they can change the idol's name because all it really means is that they're unified, but Joanna insists that "it's called that for a reason." In an interview, Joanna says something that sounds a great deal like, "I worship the most high El Ill Ion God. The holy Gyro. El Jedi." Hey, we have something in common: I like a good gyro myself, and I do like a good Star Wars movie now and then. She tells us that her God -- whoever He is -- despises idol worship, and states that in the Old Testament, "they got struck down." She laughingly claims that that's why her tribe got rained on last night, and then a flower bud falls on her, and she's under attack! Jeanne further tries to convince Joanna -- and really, arguing with someone about their religious beliefs is about as successful as arguing with someone about...well, their ignorant views on homosexuality -- by claiming that the idol is the reason they're all there right now. Joanna's not having it, and counters that they won the challenge before they had the idol. She says that as soon as they lose a challenge, they'll lose the idol, and what kind of savior leaves in bad times? Not that it's not already completely obvious, but Joanna's taking this a little too seriously. As the idol flashes in the lightning for the last time, Joanna announces, "I'm gonna talk all night about the goodness of the Lord and the land of the living." Janet proves she has a sense of humor -- or at least stumbles, as she's wont to do, on something funny -- with, "Can you do it in a whisper?" Joanna emphatically insists, "No!"

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