Survivor
Stranded

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First They Were Afraid!

As we return from the commercial, we get another shot of the special plane. Peachy must have been doped up on some serious Dramamine -- he's just as peachy as ever, while one survivor prays and two others revisit breakfast. As the plane prepares to land, we see a shot of two solitary kangaroos, one of which is standing at attention and appears to be watching the plane intently, although for all we know this is footage from a National Geographic special, spliced in for effect. Then, as the engines roar, we see what's probably an entirely different kangaroo high-tailing it away from the big scary plane, but if it's anything like the last time around, the 'roo is high-tailing it away from the big scary people inside the plane. Peachy then tells us that the S16 aren't allowed to speak to each other until the plane has dumped them in their new home. Each team has five minutes to salvage what they can from a crate of supplies on the ground, and then must hike five miles "deep into the Outback."

The first team is blue-wearing Kucha, and consists of Kimmi, an excessively made-up bartender who has thrown her hat in the ring to usurp the title of "Most Annoying Television Kimmi Ever" from Kimmy Gibbler of Full House fame; Michael, a father who does something or other with software, and if we didn't catch that he's a father from Peachy's voice-over, there's some footage of Michael in his backyard with some cute little kids jumping on a trampoline in the background. Alicia is a buff trainer. Rodger is sweet-faced, older, and straight out of American Gothic, sans the scowling. Elisabeth is a footwear designer. Debb is a very non-deb corrections officer. Jeff, an "internet project manager," is cocksure and reminds me of Liev Schreiber. ["I'll bet when he returns from the outback he'll learn he's been laid off, along with the rest of the world." -- Wing Chun]

Ogakor will always wear green, and it also appears that Maralyn, a retired police inspector, will always wear coral, as that appears to be the color of her luxury item lipstick. Colby is an "auto customizer," and Amber is a administrative assistant from Beaver, Pennsylvania. ["Hee hee, 'beaver'!" -- Wing Chun] Mitchell is a seven-foot-tall singer-songwriter. Tina is a mother and nurse who looks like Darva Conger crossed with Dr. Laura with a little early Brady years Florence Henderson thrown in. Emeril...I mean "Keith," is a chef. Jerri is an aspiring actress and Stayfree Stillman lookalike. Kel, who is very cute but apparently mute, is an army intelligence officer. ["He's the one with the tenuous Canadian connection." -- Wing Chun]

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