Survivor
Stranded

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First They Were Afraid!

As the tribe heads off for jury duty, let's hope that Elisabeth never expands her career from footwear to headwear, since she is wearing some kind of rasta-like contraption on her head made from what appears to be rags and towels. Not exactly flying under the radar. More like flying into a flock of birds that gets stuck on her head. In an interview, Mike peeks out from behind a tree and says that either Jeff or Rodger will go, and that Rodger "could be a liability in the challenges....and especially swimming challenges and climbing challenges, and it's not just Rodger, it would be anybody over fifty years old." You just gotta love ageism. And has he never heard of Rudy? And he's not that far from fifty himself, or else he's very poorly aged, which is even worse. Jeff pulls a Richard and says he's looking forward to voting someone off and that "people have got to go, and I look forward to walking up, writing somebody's name on a card, and talking about 'em."

The Outback Tribal Council looks like a child's diorama of Stonehedge. I have no idea why they can't embrace the natural beauty of an awe-inspiring place without cheesing it up. It works the same way as the first season's Tribal Council. Peachy explains that "fire does represent life....here," and it sounds like he's about to say "on the island" and catches himself. ["Heh -- I thought so, too." -- Wing Chun] Although as my friend Miriam pointed out, Australia is an island, so technically he'd be correct. Peachy starts the group counseling by calling on Debb. She doesn't seem to grasp the concept that book smarts don't count for much here, and insists, "I've tried everything those damn books said to do." Mike says the other tribe is "the enemy." I thought people over fifty were the enemy, Mike. Nick says he was sure they'd win at purely physical challenges, and I can't figure out what his basis for that is. Probably just having Alicia on their side. Peachy asks whether a leader has emerged, and Rodger throws a bone to Mike, who looks smug. Again.

Then it's time for the voting. Peachy advises Kucha to write in "big, clear letters." Debb votes for Jeff and says she loves him about one hundred times. She also says she went into the competition planning on always voting for the weakest person, in the noble yet stupid belief that the strongest survive. Didn't she watch the first season? We don't see anyone else until Rodger, who says he voted for "her" for "no real reason, actually," except that "someone had to go." The camera focuses on Elisabeth here, so we're supposed to think he voted for her. Finally, Kimmi votes for Debb because she's "just not what I need," which is as good a reason as any, and more honest. Jeff goes to "tally" the votes, which really means "rearrange for dramatic effect," and returns to read the very anticlimactic results. The first two votes are for Debb, whose eyes look like they're about to bug out of her head. The next vote is for Jeff. And then three more for Debb, at which point Peachy stops the counting and sends Debb and her eyeliner packing. Or maybe she'll leave the eyeliner (and the case!) behind for the good of the tribe. In any case, this felt really dirty -- not because I care about Debb, but because it seemed so personal. They voted her off because they didn't want her around, and they made no excuses otherwise. Debb, looking dazed, tells the others to "do good" and "kick ass." Kimmi cries herself some crocodile tears.

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Survivor

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