Survivor
Stupid People. Stupid, Stupid People

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Miss Alli: B- | Grade It Now!
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What Passes For Shii Ann's "Big Move"

Previously on Happy Betrayals To You: Kathy was shocked to find that Boston Rob didn't actually intend to abandon his entire strategy and support her and Lex over his existing alliance. Then she found out some things about the Easter Bunny and Santa that...well, I don't want to get into the specifics, but suffice it to say that your esents-pray come from your arents-pay, and so do your ocolate-chay unnies-bay. In competitive developments, an obstacle-course challenge promised letters from home for half the group and, for the ultimate winner, both immunity and a home video. When Boston Rob came out on top, he asked to forego what undoubtedly would have been quite a cavalcade of asshattery in his brother's video in exchange for everyone's getting to see their letters from home -- a trade that Jeff was happy to make. With Rob snorfling over his own generosity from the cushy comfort of the Immunity La-Z-Boy, the elimination of the former Mogo Mogo continued apace, despite Kathy and Shii Ann's efforts to convince the six Chaperans that only a sudden change in strategy could protect them from...well, from winding up as the final six, I guess. In the end, Kathy's efforts to sound sage and wise weren't enough to save her, since she fairly obviously is neither, and she was sent home. We're down to seven -- who will be voted out tonight?

Credits. If your car ever makes that noise that opens the credit sequence, I recommend taking it to a mechanic immediately. I think that's actually the noise it makes if you have a slinky in your gas tank.

It is raining at Camp Chaboga Mogo on the morning of Day 29. For some reason, they appear to be using a sparkle filter on the camera so that each individual drop of rain falling on the water looks like a little starburst. Or, actually, a cross. I sense the hand of John Ashcroft in this. And if you've ever "sensed" the hand of John Ashcroft, you know how unpleasant that can be. Shii Ann sits sulking in one of the rain ponchos that were also part of the reward in the previous day's obstacle course. She voices over that tribal council was "really emotional," and that it made her "really choked up." She laments the "smug, horrible Chaperans" for daring to vote out Kathy. She could blame herself for not helping to win any challenges, which allowed her team to be picked clean like a turkey carcass, but I guess that would be too obvious. She gripes that Chapera is "Pagonging" the Mogo Mogos, so apparently, whatever Shii Ann does with the rest of her time, she spends some of it online reading about herself. Maybe she's doing it now. Hi, Shii Ann! I'm sorry about...well, hi, Shii Ann! We watch her walk plaintively on the beach (damn, I really should have made that macro a long time ago) as she explains that Kathy was her "rock" and her "one true friend." And by her "rock," Shii Ann means "the strategic Henry Higgins to her hapless, bumbling Eliza Doolittle." Now, she has no one. Which, of course, has nothing to do with her snotty attitude and complete failure to take any strategic initiative up to this point, but instead is the result of other people's shortcomings. It's a beautiful day in Shii Ann's mental neighborhood, so feel free to bonk yourself in the head with a rolling pin repeatedly until you feel like you're getting there.

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Survivor

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