Survivor
Sumo At Sea

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The Easiest Booting Ever

Previously on Speed the Palau: Caryn decided to attempt to leverage her total lack of social power within the tribe by attacking Katie, who was a little baffled by the outbreak of hostilities and could only laugh, which is, after all, the most frustrating thing you can do to someone who's trying to haul you into a fight. (Best reason to do it!) Angie tried to drown Gregg and earned the affection of her tribe, helping Ulong to take the reward challenge. But no reward could soothe the seething soul of Bobby Jon, who had started to notice a distinct outbreak of lazy-ass on his team, starting with the largely inert Kim, who was apparently made from mild, soft cheese. Over at Camp Koror, Tom, Ian, and Gregg killed some snakes, for which they apologized, because snakes are holy and PETA is well-organized. Ulong lost another immunity challenge when they were plainly out-gritted by Koror, and Jeff and his sprained ankle made like Osten and his bleeding lungs and took a walk, sparing Kim for another week. Now, there are fifteen people left. Who will be voted out?

Ulong, Night 8. Bobby Jon stokes the fire, because stoking the fire resembles work of you look at it all squinty-like, so it's unlikely that anyone else is going to do it. Angie laments to Steph that it stinks to have lost a bunch of people already when Koror has yet to lose one. Of course, they have failed to take into account that Koror hasn't been able to rid itself of anyone (and by "anyone," I mean "Caryn") either. Kim interviews that she's "very sad" about the departure of Jeff, because he was "great for the team" and he was her "friend." Also, now she has to sleep with James, and he smells like feet all over. (Not really.) (Well, not really the first part.)

Around the fire, Bobby Jon says to the team that Koror is using the dreaded weapon of "strategy" at the immunity challenges, and I think it's actually Kim (?) who puts in that it must be, because Koror is "a weak-ass team." Wait, has she seen them? That's a weak-ass team? I begin here to think she's one of those women who overassociates strength with gym membership. That's not to even mention the "may she who is without weak-ass cast the first stone" part of the whole thing. And then James declares that they are not going to tribal council again. "I'm-on stomp on anybody's ass 'at lags." Boy, I hope he doesn't lose in any one-on-one challenges later, particularly twice, because that would be super-embarrassing. It also might require him to stomp his own ass, which is both embarrassing and kind of tough, logistics-wise. A guy could throw a piston.

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Survivor

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