Survivor
Surprise! And…Surprise Again!

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Miss Alli: B | Grade It Now!
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Everyone With The Game Wrapped Up...

Clouds float across a blue sky in what looks like stock footage used in a commercial for allergy medication. On the morning of Day 28, Ami and Leann relax in a hammock, nibbling on coconuts and writing "Boys Suck" in their notebooks. Leann interviews that she was a little surprised by everything that happened the night before, so now, she needs to talk to Twila. She goes and bothers Twila -- who's working, as usual, because she doesn't like talking about people behind their backs or standing meaningfully on rocks, so she is probably bored a lot. Twila claims that Chris is planting doubts for his own purposes, and that she thinks there's entirely too much paranoia going around. "I have to tell you, Twila," Leann says, in the lecturing tone of disappointed condescension she probably learned from Ami, "you're striking me as a panic player right now." Twila grabs for the last door marked "BAIL OUT HERE" by giving up the fact that the intrigue last week began with Scout's determination to boot Eliza, not Twila's. Leann -- still borrowing Ami's head-shaking dismay at the imperfections of others -- tells us that Twila confirmed what Chris said, but blamed Scout. "I just didn't think it would happen this soon," chuckles Leann, just so gol-durn let down by everyone. "I thought we would at least wait until the guys were gone before the girls started going crazy on each other." Which is, of course, easy for her to say, because she believes she has a path to the final two. She believes they'll boot Chris, then Eliza, then Scout and Twila, and that she, Ami, and Julie will be F3, and then either Ami or Julie will take her to F2 if it comes to that. This is what Leann believes. And she expects Scout and Twila to go along with this...why? Oh, right. Because it's a hippie commune, not a competition. Shut up, Leann. "If they were going to come up with that plan, they should have stuck with it, 'cause now they're screwed," Leann says knowingly. Yeah, you know...I do sort of think I hear the vague sounds of the impending screw, I'm just...not sure I'm hearing them coming from the same direction Leann is. Go figure.

There are more clouds, and then we move to a beach where the tribe is approaching. Julie is wearing, cockeyed, the Ohio State (I think) baseball cap that has been circulating among her, Chris, and Ami. The obnoxious crooked appearance of said hat will taunt me for the remainder of this segment. The fact that it's okay for one of the Little Rascals, Julie, doesn't mean that it's okay for you. Jeff welcomes the final seven, and then he informs them that this challenge will test their recall of what's happened since the beginning of the game. They'll be asked five questions, and the person who has the most points after five questions will be the winner of the reward. And what's the reward? Well, this is the part of the game where the sap factor begins to swell, because it's time for...the loved ones! Your reward this week will be a one-hour online chat -- which Jeff insists upon referring to as "email," because he hasn't been out of his rugged, khaki-lined hole since 1997 -- with your beloved whatever. What's more, they'll each be teased with a one-minute opportunity to say hello before the challenge starts. Get out your hankies, it's time to see a bunch of normal-looking people who will remind you that almost everyone on Survivor, even if not stupendously hot, is substantially more attractive than anyone they know.

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Survivor

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