Whatever, we begin. Weights are uneventfully placed on people for a while. 26 minutes in, Dawn and Stacey are precariously balancing 100 pounds each (I don't know what happened to Stacey's bar, but it's resting on her ass instead of her shoulders), Albert and Keith are at 180, and Jim and Li'l Li'l Russell are at 200. Keith's bar has slid down off his shoulders, and he tries to lift it back up and ultimately loses it entirely. Jim and Li'l Li'l Russell get another 20 pounds each, tying the 220 pound show record. Albert will not be tying anything, as he randomly slips and falls off the podium. Jim and Li'l Li'l Russell both manage to shoulder their record loads, and Jim actually looks kind of hot all unshaven and determined. Both tribes give them another 20 pounds, and Jim holds it for a while until his body pretty much gives out on him. The same happens to Li'l Li'l Russell a few seconds later.
So now it's down to Dawn and Stacey. Another 20 pounds are added, and Dawn says her bar is starting to slip. She tries to readjust, and her body makes a series of wavy, Gumby-like movements that I was not aware people with skeletons could do. Stacey's ass, on the other hand, appears to be doing fine. Dawn tries to copy her and lets the bar slide down onto her significantly-less-strong-looking ass. Another round brings the weight up to 140. "You're so strong, Dawn. You're stronger than this," says Elyse, who is not holding any weight whatsoever. Stacey shows the first signs of struggle, her legs shaking. Probst starts shouting his clichés about digging deep and finding more inside you or whatever and Stacey loses her bar. Which means that, somehow, Dawn just won this thing for her tribe! They run over to embrace her.
Probst hands Dawn the idol like she was the only person who had anything to do with her tribe's win (seriously, Jim shouldered 240 pounds! Where are his props?) and her tribe takes their chickens and leaves. Dawn win-terviews that she struggled at first in this game but now, clearly, she's back and she's strong. Upolu, on the other hand, do the slo-mo walk of shame in silence.
Day 11. A sad, defeated Upolu return to camp. Stacey has nothing to be ashamed of, though, saying she held up 140 pounds and proved to her tribe that she's strong and therefore valuable. But, she says, there's always a chance that her tribe could "blindside" her out tonight anyway. Stacey's tribe congratulates her on her performance, and she makes absolutely no effort to be warm or nice to these people. Like, her interactions with them make no sense to me. Even Rick, who probably hates them all and would like to shoot them instead of his buffalo, pretends. Coach tries to make an inspirational speech that no one listens to because they're all looking around and trying to decide who to vote out next. Edna looks around worriedly, but interviews that she's "confident" in the alliance I still don't think she even has. She says she won't feel safe until after Tribal. Well, duh. Why is she a doctor but so stupid?