Episode Report Card
Sara M: B | Grade It Now!
Hug It Out

Probst gives Li'l Li'l Russell a chance to speak, and he says that first off, he's proud of his family and the Hantz name and loves his uncle, but he's also not his uncle and whatever strategy he used (the same one three times) is not Li'l Li'l Russell's. Probst pushes, asking if it's hard to hear people say mean things about his uncle. So glad we're talking about Li'l Russell at Tribal Council during a season he isn't even on. Just awesome. Li'l Li'l Russell says it's "tough" and then he starts crying AGAIN because he cries like 8 times an episode. He cries more than Dawn. "I just want to be somebody that God's proud of," he sobs. It really is way too difficult for this guy to uphold his own high moral standards. It's weirdly too difficult. It's not that hard to be a good person. Edna holds his hand in support. Coach puts a manly hand on Li'l Li'l Russell's shoulder. Rick is no doubt thoroughly disgusted with this display of emotion. Probst asks Li'l Li'l Russell what makes him think that he's not someone God is proud of. "I don't want to be misrepresented," Li'l Li'l Russell wails. Great. THEN DON'T GO ON A REALITY SHOW. Reality shows are all about misrepresenting people, because they have to be, because people are BORING and reality shows have to make them seem interesting to get people to watch.

Li'l Li'l Russell continues that his uncle's behavior on the show "affected [his] family big-time" and it sounds like Li'l Li'l Russell had a hard time reconciling the person he thought his uncle was with the person he saw on TV. Three times. Okay, well, I hate Li'l Russell a lot, but I don't see how anything he did on the show was completely irredeemable or worth crying about. Li'l Li'l Russell says he wants to show the world that the Hantz family is not all bad through his behavior on the show. Great. Now he's showing us that the Hantz family has a bunch of shitty prison tattoos and they cry a lot and are mentally unstable. That's so much better.

Probst asks Albert for his thoughts about trust in the tribe. Albert says it's important to everyone and will play a part in tonight's vote. Boring! Probst wisely decides to take us to the vote on that. Interestingly, we've heard nothing about who the vote will be for tonight and everything about Li'l Li'l Russell's emotional problems. We don't see how anyone votes, but Coach does smirk his vote into the urn. Probst comes back with it and reads: one for Edna. The rest are for Stacey. I guess it doesn't matter how powerful your ass is when you get caught scheming and clearly hate everyone you're on the tribe with. Oh, and your closest ally was voted out days ago. Bizarrely, Coach tells his tribe to stand to give Stacey a group hug, like that is something she'd want from them if they all just voted for her to win the million dollars, let alone after they all just voted her weight-bearing ass out. What is he thinking? Not to mention that he goes in for the hug when she's holding her lit torch, thereby making it that much easier for her to set him on fire. She refuses the hug, of course, even though Coach creepily kind of chases after her to get it, leaving him to shrug about Stacey's difficulty to engage with him.

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