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The Lost Art of Letter-Writing

A thunderstorm starts up, but Li'l Russell is not hit by lightning. Pity, although at this point if he was struck by lightning, it probably wouldn't hurt him at all and would leave him with seven immunity idols, just because. Colby has a big lead on Li'l Russell, who doesn't slack in the challenge even though I suppose he could have at this point. You can tell he's trying his hardest because his hat fell off and he didn't waste time trying to put it back on to cover up his bald head that he's so self-conscious about. Even so, he doesn't make it to the mat by the time the Heroes solve the (really easy) puzzle and win immunity. The tribes shake hands with each other, and Li'l Russell makes sure to scamper up to J.T., who takes a small package out of his shoe and hands it to him. Li'l Russell stuffs it in his pocket and hugs J.T., then walks back to his tribe's mat with quite the "I can't believe what just fell in my lap" look on his face. Probst hands the immunity idol to the Heroes and sends everyone away before J.T. can write a book about how to use it and give it to J.T. to use against Parvati. On the way out, Li'l Russell interviews that he no longer has to look for idols because "people are actually givin' me idols. You don't hand the enemy the idol, especially when his name is Russell Hantz. You don't do that. That's a no-no." And as much as I hate Li'l Russell, he's pretty much spot-on there.

The Heroes return to camp, where J.T. is hilariously proud of himself for not only winning the challenge, but also getting the idol to Li'l Russell. Oh, J.T. I bet he thought that move would make him look like an awesome master of strategy and an innovative player, but instead, he looks like a dumbass. I must admit, it's pretty fun to watch. He asks Amanda if he made "Survivor history" with the move. "Think so!" she says. She's right. Probably not the kind of history J.T. wanted to make, but history nonetheless. "HAHAHA!" Rupert says, then interviews that Li'l Russell is probably "beaming with excitement" and "having trouble containing himself right now."

The Heroes are right about that one, as we zip over to the Villains Camp and find Li'l Russell and Parvati on the beach together reading J.T.'s note. Parvati laughs her ass off as she reads it out loud. She's pretty good at that, actually. She could have a career reading books on tape. But then the moment is ruined with an interview with Li'l Russell who says that the Heroes were stupid to give "the idol king" an idol. They don't know you're the idol king, Li'l Russell. Unlike you, they haven't had the advantage of watching your season. "I think J.T. just handed me one million dollars," Li'l Russell says. Second place, perhaps. But I don't think you'll be able to get that top prize, Li'l Russell, since you didn't have the advantage of watching your season before either. Parvati continues to read the letter, getting to the part where J.T. tells Li'l Russell to use the idol to get rid of her. "Why is everyone throwing me under the bus? They don't even know what's going on over here!" But apparently J.T. has decided that it's a repeat of Parvati's last season and refuses to see it any other way. He's so terrified of a women's alliance that he's trying to get one of the other winners voted out of the game, which just makes it less likely that he'll be able to win again. "Hopefully I can trust you and you're not truly a Villain," Parvati reads. "Yes I am," Li'l Russell says. So that means that the thought did cross J.T.'s mind that Li'l Russell might not be entirely trustworthy what with him making a big enough impression in his season to be placed on the Villains tribe before his season even aired. "We can do this together! See you soon! BFF forever! XOXO! J.T." Parvati reads. She added some parts, but not really. She and Li'l Russell very much enjoy the postscript telling Li'l Russell to "destroy this right when you finish reading." They do not destroy it, of course, since it should be kept for the rest of time. Parvati is still laughing at J.T. in an interview, wondering why someone would give a Villain his "heart." "J.T. gave Russell his heart today. And Russell is just gonna stab it a million times over and hand it to me. And I'm gonna eat it!" she says, channeling Season 16's Natalie at the end. "What is wrong with him? I cannot believe that kid won," Parvati concludes.

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