Survivor Reunion: South Pacific

Episode Report Card
Kim: D | Grade It Now!
Boys Rule, Girls Drool

So then Probst has to go talk to Russell. Ugh. Gross. Russell tries to tell Brandon that he's Uncle Russell but he's also Russell from Survivor What is this, the WWE? Does he think he's a character? He certainly acts like it. Anyway, Russell goes on and on about how he was awesome and changed the game and Brandon ruined it. Probst pretends like he just thought of doing another season with Russell on one tribe and Brandon on the other tribe. Please, God no. That might be the worst Survivor idea I've ever heard. That's like saying we get to watch a show with cancer on one tribe and schizophrenia on the other. Who would you root for? And would they really let Russell back on the show after all the controversies over spoilers etc.?

Fan Favorite is Ozzy. Cochran came in second, and it was the biggest margin of victory in the history of the award. Okay, can we be done with Ozzy now?

Hey, did you know there were other people on this show? Like Dawn? She learned that it's important to challenge yourself. Whitney and Keith are a couple now and Probst skirts around the fact that Whitney was married when she went on the show. Oops. Whitney says that Keith is THE ONE. We'll see. Edna jokes that her husband missed her so much that he got her pregnant. Edna can't leave it at that and has to try to explain and it gets weird. Stop talking, Edna. Probst checks in with Christine, who formed a friendship with Stacey, and they're still close. Probst wonders if they would have ever met otherwise, because you know, she's white and Stacey is black! Christine's like, "yeah, we might have met."

Probst wants to know if Brandon is serious about his family not accepting him. Haven't we already established this? Brandon says that some of his family said he didn't live up to the Hantz family name, when all he wanted to do was redeem his family name. But he admits that he's proud of how he played. Poor guy. He needs to move out of that Podunk town. Probst wants to talk to another dude, because we haven't heard from enough of them. What about Jim? He was awesome. Jim talks about the difference between playing to win and playing to last longer, and I kind of get what he means, but whatever.

Hey, remember Sophie? She won? Here's her check. So that happened.

Next season, there's a new twist. Both tribes will share a camp. But no returning veterans! Yay! See you next season.

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