Survivor
Survivor Season 1: The Greatest And Most Outrageous Moments

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Striking It Rich a Second Time

Jenna is next. Quick, inexplicable shot of her bra strap getting caught in a hammock before we are transported magically to her snowy home. Jenna's audition interview is shown and she seems perky and honest about her chances. She says she has a duality -- she tries to be nice and sweet, but she's also vicious to get what she wants. Whoa, did she used to be a stripper? She talks about how competitive she is, too. No clips of her audition tape. We go straight to the episode where the contestants got their care packages. The castaways got to see snippets of videos from their family. Jenna is told by Señor Probst that they never received a tape from her family with her two daughters. She cries. A lot. Compelling TV here, people! No cussing or nudity, however, in the DVD version. Because everybody is so sympathetic to the plight of the single mom, they decide to vote her off and deny her the million dollars she could have used. Sue even insults her by saying she's way too wired to live with. "Your personality is way too zippo, zippo, and you whine too much." Devil Sue sits back down and burns a hole in her seat. Rich cites Jenna's trying to form a competitive alliance as the reason he's voting her off. Jenna walks off in her little green tankini. She says in closing that it was good until things got evil and malicious. She partially blames Sean for tightening the noose. She also is upset that people were dishonest. Welcome to reality, missy.

The Kelly/Sue saga begins. Kelly and Sue discuss possibly voting Rich off. Sue says to the camera that she trusts Kelly 100 percent and that they're like sisters. Yeah, maybe from Greek times when sisters fed each other to Zeus. Kelly shows off her luxury item -- a bead bag to make jewelry. She's making a pair of earrings for Sue and talks about what a cool lady Sue is. She presents the earrings and Sue says they make her feel like a woman. Ewww. "They're so purty!" she exclaims. Sue the Snake also tells the story of her friend who died and this time, we hear the full "fuck" expletive when Sue says what she's not going to do to Kelly, but she ends up doing anyway at the end. She also says she hopes the game comes down to her, Kelly, and Rich, so they'll "stick it up his ass." This is me refraining from making a comment here.

Next is the Gervase segment. He's shown jogging in his hometown, and on a cell phone for no real reason. His audition tape features him talking a damn lot about how competitive he is. He says he plays to win, and doesn't elaborate on how lazy he'll be on the island. In his interview he talks about his father dying when he was young and how his family split apart after that. He doesn't mention his busful of kids. For no reason, we hear about his appreciation for the ladies and how he likes to look at women. Considering that he didn't do any hooking up on the island, this seems like an irrelevant tangent. We go straight to his comment that women are the stupidest beings on the planet next to cows, which amazingly was blamed on Joel. Gervase's famous comments about how he does nothing in the island are rightfully spotlighted. He coasts on his charm and personality, we learn. But only for so long...At tribal council 10, everybody says how much they like him, but sadly, he's getting the boot. Sue doesn't know how to spell his name. "You're a nice guy," Sue says, but she's tired of getting beaten in the competitions. That's about the best compliment you'll ever get from Sue. Gervase, wearing his "target" shirt, says in his closing that he's amazed with how long he lasted, and he thinks his family and friends will be proud of him. He thanks Gretchen for helping him eat the bugs and credits her for getting him through the experience. You see? All hail Gretchen!

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Survivor

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