Survivor
Survivor Season 1: The Greatest And Most Outrageous Moments

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Striking It Rich a Second Time

Wow, this is like watching a whole season at Warp Speed.

Next is a profile of B.B. He's in a leather jacket with a Harley Davidson do-rag on his head. The hell? And then he's in a tight blue ski suit, standing on the slopes. Okay, Mr. Elderly Adventure. Craggy face. Craggy brown gloves. Even his ski sunglasses are clearly craggy. Then, it's his audition tape and he's talking about how he's from Kansas, which is a beautiful area. You can tell they had a lot fewer contestants to pick from for Survivor One. This audition tape is putting me to sleep. He talks about his sailing experience and whips out a big knife, which he says would be his luxury item. He likes its versatility. Folks are lucky B.B. didn't go knife-happy when he was voted off.

A glimpse of B.B. on the island. The infamous scene of B.B. washing his laundry with his canteen water. People are pissed. Come on guys; it's not like he put his finger in the peanut butter. Gervase, Dirk, and Jenna all give him a hard time. He looks nonplussed. Everybody's frustrated with him. B.B. bitches that he's been working and everybody's been lying on their asses. Heated arguing, punctuated by B.B.'s saying, "Bullshit." Oh yeah, I love DVD. Gervase argues back, even though he will later admit to us that he is a big old slacker. No love for B.B. Lots of anger. Tribal Council the second. Not surprisingly, he's voted off. Gretchen sums it up best by saying that B.B. himself wanted off the island. She maintains the qualities of a class act by saying that B.B. "kicked ass." Come on, Gretchen, it's the uncensored DVD! You can say, "He kicked motherfuckin' ass." Everybody says how much they like B.B. before they vote him off. It's the uncensored recap, so I'm gonna call "bullshit." Only Gervase seems unrepentant. Bye bye bye, B.B. His torch is snuffed out. His last words are that he learned about himself (what, that you can't live without a washing machine?). He also says that everybody except one person respected him (Uh, cough, Gervase, cough). ["I think he might have meant Joel, actually. He seemed to have a real hate on for Joel." -- Wing Chun]

Oh, damn. The grubs. We see some Evil Dead-esque running shots through the jungle cut with shots of the nasty, bloated, gross beetle larvae crawling around in a big, clear fishbowl. Let the nightmares begin! The "Buggin' Out" immunity challenge is shown in only a small portion of its glory. We only get the last bit after everyone has already eaten a bug. Gervase and Stacey are chosen as the most squeamish, and they each have to eat two bugs. Oh, good lord. This again. They eat them. Chew, chew, chew, Stacey sticks out her huge tongue. Gervase bolts from the table. My stomach does cartwheels.

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Survivor

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