Survivor Season 1: The Greatest And Most Outrageous Moments

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Striking It Rich a Second Time

Back on the island. Joel and Gervase are engaging in witty banter about the difference between cutting off a chicken's head and twisting it off. Oh yeah, Joel's a big old dummy. And the banter's not witty. This is a mere segue into Joel's segment, which means he's the next one voted off. Big, manly music plays as we see him at the health club where he works. His audition tape shows him in his car talking about how he's pretty responsible. And he will be the survivor. He will win, he says, because he's in great shape. Of course. Good luck to you. He points out how spontaneous he is by taping his thing in the car. Whatever, you tool. It's not spontaneous if you have to point out how spontaneous you are. In his interview tape, he comes across even more full of himself and aloof. He talks about landing a client who wasn't planning on using his company. Yeah, let your corporate wins compensate for your tiny package.

On the island, the Joel=Male Chauvinist thing is rehashed. Jenna comments on how the physical challenges are just feeding his ego. The spear-throwing competition makes him feel like a He-Man. Jenna says he's condescending to the ladies. She seems bitter. He's even condescending to Gretchen who is, like, ten times more manly than he is. We get our first glimpse of Colleen in a while, bitching about the way Joel treats the women. Even Gretchen gets in a dig about how he doesn't trust her to cook the rice. Joel says, to end all discussion, that he is definitely not a chauvinist. We'll see at tribal council, buddy. Gretchen points out his flaws in her vote for him. Jenna repeats what Gretchen said. "Moo," she adds, which doesn't make sense without showing what led to that comment. Colleen votes for him because he has a good job and doesn't need the money. "The nature phone said so," Greg says, in his vote for Joel. See ya, He-Man. In his closing words, Joel says the girls had an inferiority complex. He singles out Gretchen as having a problem with him. He stops just short of calling them "dirty little bitches." He also thanks Mom and Dad. This is probably crushing him into a slightly less He-Man version of himself.

Nighttime. The Tagi tribe is filmed in night vision, and Susan is asked when she lost her virginity. Why, God, why? She says she was sixteen or seventeen and lost it in the back of a '67 Mustang. I start crying. Richard says he lost it when he was about eighteen to a woman from Australia that he married (this is just his clever attempt to score a cameo on Survivor 2. She paid him to marry her for a green card. Those Machiavellian instincts have been honed a long time. He says he was married about ten years until her lawyer mailed saying she wanted a divorce. Richard figured it was because she met someone she really wanted to marry. Sean says it must have been a "real man." Damn, Sean, why couldn't Richard just pimp-slap you the way I want to? Jenna talks about how they sat around the campfire and told very revealing stories. Bet we don't get to hear all of them. Greg is asked about whether he's ever been with another guy, and Jenna seems pretty sure that he's been involved in an orgy with another guy. He must have said something to her before. ["When they were, as Alex Richmond says, 'sitting in a tree.'" -- Wing Chun] Richard seems especially curious. Richard later says that Greg refrained from talking about "male-to-male" experiences. I think this is right after the tribes combined, but we don't really get into that. Rudy says that everybody from the tribe would have been court-martialed in the army based on their stories. He walks off and says "shit," just to remind us of the quality of DVD.

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