Survivor II: The So-So and Most Mediocre Moments!
And now the tribes have suddenly de-merged, and Nick is building benches. He says his father taught him the art of bench-building during years of yard work. I got paid a penny for each cigarette butt I picked up from our gravel driveway, but I never got a bench-making lesson. Kimmi is upset that Nick is making benches. Alicia says that the benches are comfy and block the sun. In Nick's audition tape he's suave and sexy -- he's all Maxwell from that music video. He must have used up his last ounce of personality making this tape. He begs the producers for a second-round interview, and tells them it will be really sad for them if they don't pick him. They should have just played the tape over and over again and omitted any footage of Nick actually in the Outback; it's far more entertaining. We then get Nick's finest moment, talking about his "enlarged taste buds." I'm happy to say I've never suffered that particular ailment. The tribe members now gather at Tribal Council and say boring things about him. Incidentally, I was trying to name the Kuchas the other night and I kept coming up with seven. I couldn't remember Nick until I watched this. Nick says he tried to play the game "with class." Nick's all Harvard about having class. He doesn't pronounce it "closss." He says he learned all about his weaknesses, but he doesn't mention his most amazing strength: invisibility.
Chronology, schronology. We're back at Ogakor camp, with the whole tribe. They're playing a soccer-mom game at Tina's suggestion, wherein each recounts the high and low of his or her day. Lamber is impressed because the other members of her tribe are actually interesting. That's what she said! In her audition tape, which looks like an on-site interview (because Lamber could not possible have had the ingenuity to prepare an interesting tape), she says she hates her job, which seems to me like a bad way to keep that job. She then says the "host came to [her] in a dream" and told her she would win the game. So now I know why they picked Lamber -- they thought her psycho hallucinations would spice up the show. Obviously, they didn't know yet that she was only repeating her friend's psycho hallucinations. We get shots of the flood washing away the merged camp, and Lamber looking shocked. As much as a zombie can look shocked. We're now at Tribal Council 11. Lamber gets voted off, and that's all I have to say about that.