Survivor
Survivor Season 2 The Australian Outback: The Greatest And Most Outrageous Moments

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Survivor II: The So-So and Most Mediocre Moments!

Nick who? Nick says his team did the right thing by voting him off. If they didn't, he would have used his invisible lasso to tie them together during the remaining immunity challenges to win every time. Nick insists that he wasn't lazy, and that the segments were just "construed badly." He admits that he didn't fish, but he thinks he did a lot of other good things. Even The Early Show finds him too boring to talk to; the next few moments are filled with boring clips from the show. Nick says he lost twenty pounds, and that he had a good six pack. He talks about the "Colbster." He explains that he and the other Kucha members knew Nick was the target (the other team was afraid he'd bore them to death), so they agreed just to vote their consciences. So it wasn't that they weren't allied, they just knew it was a losing battle.

Now it's Lamber's turn, and she talks about how relieved she was to finally be voted off. She says she was 115 pounds when she went there and 100 pounds when she left. Like most of the other women, she looked better in the Outback than she does here slathered in Cover Girl products. It's like all the women decide to spackle on forty days' worth of missed makeup-wearing opportunities at once. Bryant says she was "not exactly a chubette" before beginning the show. Bryant wants to know why Lamber didn't try to form an alliance with Rodger and Elisabeth. She responds that she trusted Jerri but didn't trust the others. Lamber says that she had a hard time with the lying and the backstabbing. No problems whatsoever with the spinelessness.

It's Rodger's turn; he was "well-pleased" with his performance and happy with "fifth place." He says it was never about the money for him, but that if he didn't really believe he could win, he wouldn't have gone in the first place. Rodger thinks he was one of the better Survivors at actually surviving. He says jumping off of the cliff was one of the biggest moments he's experienced in his life. Rodger then reveals that he tried unsuccessfully to infiltrate Colby's and Tina's alliance, hoping they would vote for Keith with him and Elisabeth. Rodger has no regrets; he just thought he'd be able to play the game better.

Elisabeth says she had "the butterflies" before each Tribal Council. She doesn't say they were in her stomach; they were probably fluttering around her -- along with bluebirds singing -- as she walked down the street. They probably placed all those cute little flowers in her hair, and perfectly tied her little bandeau top. Elisabeth loves the way the show was edited; well, of course she did! Who -- except perhaps little people -- doesn't love looking cute? Elisabeth tells a cute story about Rodger calling her in New York to tell her where to eat breakfast every morning. Bryant tells her she whines a lot and she says she's "an emotional person." She says she'd rather be "a sap than a stone."

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