Survivor
Survivor Season 2 The Australian Outback: The Greatest And Most Outrageous Moments

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Survivor II: The So-So and Most Mediocre Moments!

Now back to Kucha camp, where Mike is picking up food off the ground and eating it. The one-and-a-half-year-old where I volunteer does that, and she's much cuter doing so. She's particularly fond of small rocks. I notice that all of the tribe members are there -- at Kucha camp, not where I volunteer -- including Debb. So that means this is, like, the second day, and Mike is voluntarily eating bugs because it's not like he's starving yet. I'd call that acting out for attention. If Tina were there, she'd send him to time-out. Special hero music plays for Mike. In his audition tape, he tells the camera that he knows he would be the ultimate Survivor. He says his family vacations are always "wilderness vacations." That so would not have gone over in my family. We do not see footage of him falling into the fire; we do see his odd, pain-inspired pool-hopping afterwards. As Mike is air-lifted to safety, Rodger tells him, "I'll keep 'em in line for you, buddy." This whole thing reminds me again that it would have been a different game if Mike hadn't pitched into the fire. Sigh. Now we see Mike sitting, of all places, in front of a fireplace as he tells us that the most positive thing he got out of the experience was an appreciation of the small things, like "your wife cooking, your wife doing the laundry." I'm not making that up. He says that he learned that he could survive if put in a survival situation. Unless there was a fire around.

Elisabeth tells Jeff that his shoes smell. Alert the media! In his audition tape, Jeff tells us that he loves being a "redneck in New York City." He likes people thinking he's "fucking stupid." You couldn't hear that in primetime. He says no one pays any attention to him, and then he "smacks them upside the head." Jeff insists that he wouldn't kick someone out because of "personal reasons." There's some major passive-aggression on the part of our "special editors" (here at Mighty Big TV we're far less passive in our aggressiveness) because we next cut to a clip of Jeff getting personal with Mike, because Mike told him he was "due." I really thought he was saying "doo-doo," and cracked myself up over it. It would certainly go with the "booger hanging out of her nose" comment he made in the episode where Kimmi's filth was discussed. Mike explains that he meant to say Jeff is due to catch a fish, and not that he is doo-doo nor that he is due to go fishing. Then we're suddenly at a merged Tribal Council, where Ogakor votes strategically, and Kucha votes like booger-picking doo-doo. After a tie between Colby and Jeff, Jeff gets the boot because he received an earlier vote, which Kimmi had revealed to the others. Jeff's not bitter about that or anything. In his exit interview, he talks about Kimmi's very "large mouth." In the context, of course, of talking too much. He says that he knows Ogakor is going to take it through to the end, but we didn't hear that in the exit interview that aired, because the editors still wanted us to tune in believing there was a chance it wouldn't play out that way.

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Survivor

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