Episode Report Card
Joanna: C- | Grade It Now!
Grass Jerri's Ass!

Kel votes for Jerri and says again that he promised Tina and Maralyn on Day One that he would. Mitchell addresses an anonymous person and says, "As much as we could use your strength in the challenges, we're a little sick and tired of some of your games. And the only comfort I have in voting this way is that you brought this on all by yourself." The camera points at Keith the whole time, so we know Mitchell definitely doesn't mean him. Maralyn wins for the best vote ever: she's Talking Rudy Doll, but with a brain! Not only does she vote for "Cal," but in a fabulous spoof of Sue's infamous speech from last season she says, "Cal. Cal, if you were lying in the desert dying of thirst, every single one of us would give you a drink of water. Good luck to you." The "good luck" part suggests that Maralyn knew Kel was going, so if there's any doubt of a conspiracy left after the 7-1 vote against Kel, that kind of finishes it off. Peachy doesn't even bother trying to establish suspense this time. The votes go as follows: Kel, Jerri, Kel, Kel, Kel, and Cal. In his shorty pants and bright blue button-down shirt, I can't decide whether Kel's trying to look like a two-year-old, or just like Just Peachy. He bows his head and looks sad while Jerri swallows a grin.

Next week on Survivor: Jerri "makes her move on Colby" because she's a "sucker for cowboys." Mike makes a "Pigkiller." Didn't anybody learn anything from Superpole?

Over the credits, Kel tells us that he knew it would be difficult to get along with the tribe because of his military background. But Rudy got along famously! We see that Mitchell voted for "Kelly." Kel wishes the others good luck and says, "You're all winners to me." Thus ends what was, in my mind, the weirdest and most poorly edited episode of Survivor ever. After watching the episode several times and transcribing practically the whole thing, I still have no idea what happened.

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