A dingo! I've been waiting for a dingo!
At Kucha, Michael tells us that he wants to provide food because he believes that it's the only way he'll make the merger, and he may be right. He also says he doesn't want to be a leader, just "the food guy." Michael returns to camp with a pretty big catch, and Kimmi says, "It looks like you just went to the fish market." Alicia goes into personal-trainer mode and shouts, "Who's better than you right now? There's no one I can think of," which cracks me up. Jealous Jeff tells us that Michael needs "trumpets to blare and angels that sing," and that everybody has to sit around and hold his hands and watch him carve the catch. Which I think is a figure of speech until we flash to the next scene where everyone is sitting around, holding hands and watching Michael carve the catch. Michael's attempt at "prayer" is the following: "Dear God: You know I said a lot of prayers today, and you answered them with fish for us, and I'm so happy to be able to provide fish for the troops." Which could have been just fine, but no; he continues, "I know that this could easily get turned around in some way to make me be the leader of the tribe, but this is real, it's from the bottom of my heart: it makes me to happy to be able to provide for everybody. So. That's that." Elisabeth's face is priceless during the "But Mom said I could be the leader of the tribe!" part of Michael's speech. Kimmi tells us that "Mike thanked God for making him the leader of the tribe," and that she doesn't know when or by whom he was anointed, but that her back must have been turned at that time. Mike takes a bite of the fish and has an orgasm. And although there's definitely enough for each Kucha member to take sufficient chunk of fish and eat on his own, he makes them all pass it around in a circle, taking one bite at a time. Rodger says that Michael "does like to be in the limelight," but that as long as he's catching fish, it will be difficult to "knock him off." Alicia tells us in an interview, "I'm telling you now that there are people in this tribe who want to vote him off already." We then see Michael cluelessly stuffing his face. The sky here is amazing, and it passes really quickly. Oh right, that's just tricky and manipulative camera work to make something that is lovely of its own accord look lovelier by some stupid American "everything that is faster is better" standard.
At Ogakor, Maralyn tells us that she's very upset. We see Jerri doing a photo shoot in the tent, with her bathing suit top unzipped and her bottoms pulled down as low as they'll go. No wonder Mitchell can't see through her -- he's never been this close to a nearly naked girl before. Disappointed Dog tells us that Jerri says she "saw Kel chewing a brown substance, what she thought was beef jerky." Jerri then tells us that she saw a "like, dark brown-colored shredded-looking kind of thing," which is obviously beef jerky, since there's nothing else that's brown and shredded-looking in nature. Mitchell repeats what we've just been told, and says he believes Jerri because she's prettier than Kel. Jerri then says that she "guarantees" it was beef jerky, which just proves she's completely willing to be dishonest since she wasn't positive ten minutes before. Then everyone in the tribe chimes in and says they saw Kel chewing, which I wasn't aware was a crime. Jerri says that "the rest of [them] are starving," and "to think that someone on our own tribe would be, you know, sneaking in their own stuff. Especially food." Her feet are fidgeting and going crazy at this point, and they look like the feet of a liar to me. Maralyn then tells us that the others went through Kel's things on a jerky hunt, and we see that this group -- led by Jerri -- also included Amber and Tina. Tina tells us, "It was a big feeding frenzy, you know," which sounds like it's leading up to some admission of guilt, but it's not. Instead she continues, "Kel's got beef jerky, and look in his bag real quick, and I was standin' right there and I did it, and there wasn't anything in there at all," and it totally sounds like she was happy to be part of the lynch mob, and just upset that they didn't find anything.