Swimming With Sharks

Episode Report Card
Miss Alli: B+ | 2 USERS: C
The Rupert Show Is Cancelled

In the morning, Christa and Rupert, still lolling about on their chariots of self-importance, pass some beverage or other back and forth, calling each other "baby" the whole time. Jon, speaking for many of us -- and how scary is that? -- says that Christa and Rupert's smoochie-woochie routine makes him want to throw up his stingray and coconut all over their festival of snuggles. He adds that he thinks that for Rupert, Christa, and Sandra -- as for student body presidents throughout history -- "absolute power corrupts absolutely." I don't think the Triumvirate is any more corrupt than anyone else, actually, I just think they're more blind. And arrogant. And annoying. But then, the phenomenon of Jon's acting as my spokesperson really wasn't likely to last, unless I was prepared to increase the number of my thoughts that included the names of wrestlers and expressions like "oh, yeeee-ah." Burton and Jon head out to "get some water," by which they mean "talk about how to get rid of Rupert, Christa, and Sandra." Jon interviews, somewhat indignantly, that Rupert, Christa, and Sandra are trying to "hand-feed" fourth place to him, and they seem to expect him to be happy with it. This has convinced Jon to look for a chance to switch out of his alliance. So Rupert's efforts to convince his tribemates that they are finishing in places of honor by losing to him are working perfectly, as it turns out, except in reverse. As Burton and Jon collect water, they talk about how they ought to be able to interest Darrah and Tijuana -- who know that, barring a miracle, they might as well pack up their duds and scoot -- in an alliance (along with Lill) to boot the Triumvirate before things go any further down the road to Rupert's self-scheduled coronation. Don't start tuning up yet, Royal Orchestra of Rupertania.

"Once again," Jon says, "Johnny Fairplay finds himself in a great position." He continues by explaining that he can either go with the original plan and stick with the ex-Drakes, or he can flip and reconstitute his alliance with Darrah and Tijuana instead of Christa, Rupert, and Burton. Two reasons to flip, obviously: first of all, the new alliance would have five, rather than six, people in it. When you can set yourself up in an alliance that excludes three people instead of two and you think that alliance might hold, you're one step farther in the game. Second, the sub-alliances in the new alliance favor Jon much more than the sub-alliances in the old alliance. (Say it three times fast -- go!) This is why the Triumvirate's strategy was lacking: tipping your hand to that degree as to your sub-alliance within your larger alliance is very, very stupid, because your sub-alliance still constitutes a minority of the larger group, and if the rest of your larger alliance knows you'll later function as a bloc vote, they're going to boot you. It makes you too big a target -- like one person with three votes. If you knew, post-merge, that there was one person with three votes, who would have three votes all the way through to the end, you'd get rid of that person. You'd have to. You could sidle up to them for a while, but really, you'd have no chance against them as time progressed, so you'd have to get rid of them while you still had a chance.

Previous 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15Next





Get the most of your experience.
Share the Snark!

See content relevant to you based on what your friends are reading and watching.

Share your activity with your friends to Facebook's News Feed, Timeline and Ticker.

Stay in Control: Delete any item from your activity that you choose not to share.

The Latest Activity On TwOP