Swimming With Sharks

Episode Report Card
Miss Alli: B+ | 2 USERS: C
The Rupert Show Is Cancelled

Okay, it's sad and funny.

Back at camp, Tijuana mutters -- against Jon's instructions earlier -- that "Rupert deserves to go." She seems to have some doubts, though, talking about the fact that they're all living because of Rupert. I'm sure that's true. If he hadn't been cast, they all would have died. Seriously. It would have been the first Survivor ever to feature weekly funerals.

Over in another conversation entirely, Lill apologizes to Rupert for not sending him on the reward boat trip. "You won, you should go," Rupert says, knowing this passive-aggressive shit will make her feel worse than if he actually told her what he thinks and let her apologize to him. "What's done is done," Sandra spits at Lill, as if it's any of her goddamn business at all. I'll tell you, Sandra is turning into a real bitch in a real big hurry. Lill won the damn thing. She never promised to give it away, and she was under no obligation to give it away. Shut up, Sandra. In an interview, Lill agonizes some more about how she should have given it to Rupert and she didn't, and now she feels bad, blah blah blah. We see her wander off with Jon, to whom she mutters, "I am such a bitch." Jon pauses. "Well -- thank God," he says. Not to laugh at Jon, but...heh. Lill puts on her Beaker frown and whimpers, "Don't say that about God." No, she really does. And this makes Jon laugh while he's trying to put his hand on her shoulder and comfort her. I still hate him, but I did feel for him at that moment. Back in the interview, Lill frets that Rupert should go, because he would catch fish, and she won't catch any fish. Boo hoo. Whimper whimper. When Lill expresses this to Jon, he assures her that they'll catch some fish, baby, no sweat. She tells him that Sandra is giving her dirty looks -- on the playground, presumably, at recess -- and Jon gives her another hug. I'm telling you, I still hate him, but this is the point in this game where, as people start to fall apart and take everything personally and freak out, you start to appreciate people who are still just. Playing. A. Game. For. God's. Sake. And that's where Jon is only 99.5% vile at the moment, instead of 100% vile, like he usually is. ["I have to say, he's a better person than I, because if I were the person to whom Lill was confiding as she bawled about keeping the reward she had won fairly instead of giving it to Rupert for no good reason, I would have given her the eye-rolling of a lifetime, called her a simp, and left her to cry all by her own stupid simpy self." -- Wing Chun] Back in her interview, Lill mentions that she doesn't get to take crazy vacations all the time in her normal life, and that when she got the shot at the beautiful ride on the boat, what she thought about was the chance to take it. Interestingly, with all his talk about having such a great adventure, Rupert should have been the first person to understand this, and he would have, if he were capable of genuinely thinking about anyone other than himself. Which he's not.

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