Swimming With Sharks

Episode Report Card
Miss Alli: B+ | 2 USERS: C
The Rupert Show Is Cancelled

Jon explains that, first, they're going to boot Rupert. If he wins immunity, they're going to boot Christa. Lill cuts him off, half-smiling, saying that she has "a lot of guilt." He tells her she needs to "check that guilt at the door, or else quit this game right now." Damn. It's very disorienting, agreeing with Jon about anything, let alone practically everything. It's like finding yourself rooting for the same person Paula Abdul is raving about.

Whales frolic as the boat speeds through the water. It comes time for dinner, and the promised beers appear from the cabin. Jon and Lill are then presented with some extremely thick-crusted pizza. "Simple things make me very excited," Lill says. "I need to date women like you," Jon replies. ARE THEY FLIRTING? God, I just felt my stomach turn inside out and my eyeballs start shedding their outer layers. Jon says that the meal of beer and pizza is actually the best part of the game so far. Lill rests her head on Jon's shoulder. Ew. Lill, his shoulder! Think of where it's been! Other wrestler wannabes have undoubtedly sat down hard on that shoulder!

Later, Jon peers into one of the boat windows. "You know how much I like myself?" he says. "Seeing how good I look right now is a great thing." Apparently, the boat window works like a funhouse mirror of some sort. Lill, meanwhile, walks around the boat, inspecting the various knots. "Square knot," she proclaims at one point. "I am the Scoutmaster!" Hee. Jon tells her she's drunk; she insists she's only had three-quarters of a beer. Yep, she's drunk. The final indicator would be if she agreed with Jon about how good he looks, of course.

We swing around the boat, all "her name is Rio" and stuff, and then Jon and Lill are trying to catch some fish and make a productive day of it. I'm not sure who wrote all the pirate music they're using this year, but I have to say, they have done an admirable job of finding several different types of pirate music. This is the Adventure Pirate Music, as opposed to the Merry Pirate Music and the Ominous Pirate Music. You can tell this is an adventure rather than merriment, because you hear strings instead of tootling. "What happens if I get [a fish]?" Lill asks. "Uh, reel it in," Jon says. It's nice to see him in a situation where he can be The Smart One. I doubt it happens very often. Jon and Lill discuss the fact that they'd like to be able to take some fish home, but as the picturesque sunset grows around them, no fish-catching is actually seen.

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