Survivor

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Arrested Development

Fourth round! It's the men on the ground and the women on the platform. Probst calls go, and Li'l Russell just barrels into Dave Ball. He also manages to grab a ball, which he passes to Liz, who misses the shot. Jeffrey Tambor also has a ball, but Erik slams into him and takes it away. "Big bodies colliding!" Probst says. He loves the man-on-man action. The hit takes the wind out of Jeffrey Tambor's sails, which didn't have a whole lot of wind in them to begin with, and he resorts to standing around looking winded and contributing nothing while the women on his team yell at him to do something. Too late! The girl who isn't Monica scores a third and final point for Galu, giving them the win.

But it's not over yet. First the teams must stand on their mats so Probst can lecture Ben on his history-making transgression. He gives Ben a chance to apologize for letting his team down, only for Ben to say "outlaw, baby!" Yes, you are such an outlaw with your wimpy little bitch kick. Probst hands Galu the idol again as heroic music plays for our team of non-assholes. Probst says it's time for the twist, and tells their "leader" Russell to come forward. He reads off a scroll that Russell has to choose one person from Galu to go back to Foa Foa's camp with them and observe their Tribal Council, after which he'll return to Galu's camp. Russell picks "his homegirl" Yasmin, who is so his homegirl that he pronounces her name "Jasmine." Probst hands her a secret scroll and tells Galu to take their fishing gear and leave. They do. Foa Foa sticks around so Yasmin can stand there awkwardly and Probst can tell Jeffrey Tambor to stay behind so medical can look at him.

After the break, Jeffrey Tambor gets his blood pressure checked out by the medical team as his tribe (and Yasmin) watch. His blood pressure is 92/60, which is low. Enh. I've had that blood pressure reading before when I went to the doctor's office before I ate breakfast, and I'm fine. Jeffrey Tambor is helped to his feet. He says he's feeling "a little woozy," and then he collapses as, on the soundtrack, a bell tolls for him. Probst is concerned, as is Mick, who uses his doctor skills to say that Jeffrey Tambor is at risk of "a big heart attack." Soon enough, Jeffrey Tambor gets to his feet under his own power, but now his blood pressure is 80/60. Yeah, that's bad news. Probst asks if "a couple of canteens of water back at camp" will fix Jeffrey Tambor up. Uh ... no. Come on. The medical lady says they've given Jeffrey Tambor water and it's been forty minutes since any physical activity and he's still in dire straights. His heart can't take this game, so they're pulling him out of it. Well, great. How about we don't cast old people who are also overweight anymore? Or if we do, we don't have them compete in challenges like these? Come the fuck on. This show isn't fun if people leave because of injuries instead of being voted out. Unless it's Li'l Russell leaving, which is fine with me. Foa Foa (and Yasmin, I guess) say good-bye to Jeffrey Tambor, who interviews that Galu "never got [him] down in the pit," so he was able to show that he could be tough when necessary. Really? Because he showed me that if you don't take care of your body over your lifetime, it will eventually let you down. Whereas if you do take care of it, you can be Rudy from Season 1 and last almost the entire game despite being like fifty years older than everyone else and openly hating them. Probst says that despite being down another member, Foa Foa is still going to Tribal Council tonight. Yasmin appears to be crying. What's her deal? How is this at all upsetting for her? She's more emotional than the people on Jeffrey Tambor's tribe, who are now even more screwed than before. Hilarious epic tragedy music plays as Jeffrey Tambor is loaded into a van and taken away. Ha! No ambulance or helicopter for him! Mick interviews that things are not looking good for his tribe.

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Survivor

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